I Said Na Na Na Na Na

Here's my small tribute to the late Michael Jackson. While he totally gives off that creepy oompa loompa vibe, his beats and dance moves are sick. I heard a terrible but funny joke the other day: Did you hear what they are going to do with Michael? Since his body is 99 percent plastic, they're going to melt him down into legos. That way children can finally play with him. (Ba-dum-bum-chee)

My Top 10 Favorite MJ songs:

10. Thriller
9. Rock With You
8. Billie Jean
7. Don't Stop Til you Get Enough
6. Shake Your (Down to the Ground)
5. Smooth Criminal
4. Wanna Be Starting Something
3. Man in the Mirror
2. P.Y.T.
1. I Want You Back

Plaque Attack!

I've discovered something pretty damn awesome. Wait for it... wait for it... Plackers Micro Mint Dental Flossers. Yes, folks. It's special. Each green stick is individually crafted for single use and packaged in bags of 90 for a few bucks. Love it.

www.plackers.com

Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin Everywhere

Lately... or all my life, I've danced like I was the best dancer ever recorded in the history of all dancers. Recently, I've discovered my ass shaking jams have taken precedence in my running routine. I highly recommend adding them to your ipod. Go ahead and crank it while throwing elbows on the trails.

Lovegame, Lady GaGa
Krazy, Pitbull
Cupid Chuffle, Cupid
I Know You Want Me, Pitbull
Apache, The Sugarhill Gang
Day and Night, Kid Cudi
One More Time, Daft Punk

I said No No No

I've found myself listening to a lot of Amy Winehouse lately. She's incredibly souful and jazzy wrapped into a package of a sheer HOT MESS. Whiler her song Rehab was cool at first and totally played out, my ipod's been rocking the following tracks each morning.

- Back to Black
- You Know I'm No Good
- Love is a Losing Game
- Tears Dry on Their Own
- Me and Mr Jones

I can most definitely say I relate to her music... just not her. There's a thin line between musical genius and psychotic disaster. Amy, Im commend you for your achievements. Now lay off the crack.

Quiz Whiz

I was bored one night and decided to fill out one of the facebook quizzes. It's the one where your friends see "How Well Do You Know..."

On a side note, we all failed miserably at the important questions but seemed to easily recall the answers to the most random ones. Go figure. Here's what I had as mine challenge questions. I'm pretty sure the score to beat is 40%. Sad. I'm sensing a Saturday morning gal group couch hour. We'll do a 6 week session on Getting to Know You.

1) What song would I choose to sing at a karaoke bar?
a) Dixie Chicks, There's your Trouble
b) Frank Sinatra, Fly Me to the Moon
c) ABBA, Dancing Queen
d) Gloria Gaynor, I will Survive
e) Whitney Houston, Dance with Somebody

2) My favorite sport to watch is ________.
a) Soccer
b) Rugby
c) Basketball
d) Football
e) Track

3) Would I go bungee jumping?
a) Heck no!
b) Oh yes!
c) Depends on who else is going

4) What would be the perfect present for me?
a) Jewelry
b) Art
c) Sporting event tickets
d) Scuba lessons
e) Shoes

5) What did I want to be when I was little?
a) Surgeon
b) Anesthesiologist
c) Psychologist
d) Pharmacist
e) Dermatologist

6) What is my favorite food?
a) Fajitas
b) Pizza
c) Crab legs
d) Nachos
e) Ribeye

7) What city was I born in?
a) Ramstein, Germany
b) Stuttgart, Germany
c) Frankfurt, Germany
d) Kaiserslautern, Germany
e) Landstuhl, Germany

8) I secretly would like to be a ________ for a day?
a) CIA Agent
b) Actress
c) Event Planner
d) Professional Athlete
e) Ski Instructor

9) What destination would I travel to first?
a) Thailand
b) Italy
c) Australia
d) Ireland
e) Brazil

10) My favorite flavor of ice cream is ________.
a) Banana
b) Chocolate
c) Strawberry
d) French Vanilla
e) Mint Chocolate Chip

It ain't over...

Heard the best band last night at Trio Lounge in Charleston, SC. I attempted to google the venue and had zero luck. The lead singer is fabulous and I was mildly disappointed when we were hurded upstairs to shake our asses to rap music... though always a fabulous alternative option. I'll call the place tomorrow and find out who they were. The lead singer was incredibly soulful and won me over with her moves and white heart hooped earrings. Stay tuned.

Gotta Get Away?

I've been traveling a lot lately and discovering I've couped myself up the past couple of years. No more of that shit! I've made a short list of destinations I'll get my fancy pants over to within the next year. I have no earthly idea who's coming with but at this point, I don't care. If you book it, they will come!

-Italy
-Croatia
-Ireland
-Puerto Rico
-Oktoberfest 2010 (200 yr anniversary)

VEGASSSS!

Vegas was obviously kickass this year. Combine two nights at the Encore, free VIP tables at Body English & Prive and four of the most complimentary female personalities. What you have is a recipe for success! Here are some of our most memorable quotes from the weekend.

"I wish everywhere I went, I had my own stage" NM

"I’m going to roll that bitch into the hall" KD

"Boys, I’m going to need to see some identification" NM

"Prevent him from urinating like a spooked squirrel" AF

"Lay down, let me mount you and roll some pheromones on" NM

"I feel like this whole town is one hot mess" AF

"Let me get my go go gadget eyes and I’ll tell you the score" NM

"Umm, why is my hip flexor sore?" NM

"The only thing that will make me feel better is a free upgrade" AF

"DC is the douchebag capital of the free world" AF

"I’m almost forgot about my rash until I looked down" AF

"You have to go to the bathroom. The bouncer will walk you there, hold your drink and walk you back. It’s awesome" AF

"You’re going to need to pick that broken shot glass off the floor. Isabelle’s not working overtime for your ass" NM

"MENVER!" JC

"Wow, that’s the first time one of us has had breakfast all weekend" KD

"Hey Sarah, we’re at the Venetian. Come swing by and get us" NM

"Someone’s going to need to take one for the team and make out. Amy… " NM

"Those two are definitely having butt sex tonight" NM

"If the next song is Boom Boom Pow, I’m taking my dress off" NM

"Can you imagine if someone was always trying to get you to stick things in your mouth?" JC

"Ok so, 200 ml bottle. 1 ounce is 30ml. So roughly, we’re working with 7 ounces, divided by 4 people. Yes, yes… this mini bar can work!" NM

Kim: We need a signal to wrap it up
Me: (insert finger twist)
Kim: Wait, too obvious
Me: How about “OOOH OOOH AAAH AAAH” (insert monkey signals and sounds)
Kim, Jenna, Amy: Perfect!

Me: We need options here
Jenna: Who else can we get free shit from?

Me: Wow, the pool is starting to fill up with skinny beautiful people
Kim: It’s the cokeheads. They just woke up.

Me: Would you accept my final rose?
Drunk Chick: You're my lover

Bitch at the roulette table: Can we get this show on the road?
Kim: Well, we WERE having fun

Cabbie: Did you forget anything?
Me: My dignity... sigh

Princeton Guy: How much money do YOU make in four minutes?
Me: I’m sorry I don’t have my TI-85 calculator with me

Douche on Plane: Excuse me? Is there anywhere to hang my coat in the front of the plane?

Best Games EVER

-Who got the deal?
-Who had the roughest weekend?
-Who has the most options?
-Who won the boob award?

Poof... Be Gone

I've noticed a trend lately in my facebook perusaling. I've decided I very much appreciate the feature where you're permitted to 'hide' insignificant friend's status messages and/or pics. Cruel? Yes... but totally awesome. I'm just sick of seeing 1000 pics of various friends I've known years ago and their snapshots of offspring or better yet "this is me and hubbie on the beach"... and this is one is me and my hubbie in front of our new tv"... "oh and this one is really special and taken in front of our new coffee maker." GAG ME. The best is when your friends mention something about it like, "Does so and so always change their status msg to doing something with their husband?" No one cares if you're cuddling by the fire, drinking wine or enjoying a Friday night in with him. Get a fucking life! Now if you start writing about how he's in the next room while you're getting railed by his best friend, then yes... I would consider 'unhiding you'. Just saying...

It's Just a Little Crush

I'm come to the conclusion I have a celebrity crush... Ryan Reynolds. It's odd because normally I think people who say they'd do anything to date/touch/surround themselves with {fill in blank} are friggin nuts but now I'm finding myself messmerized by his various acting performances or something to that effect. It's almost like an addiction of what movie I need to check out his boyish charms in next. I'm certain he didn't have me in Van Wilder or Waiting but Definitely, Maybe and now X-Men Orgins. Wowsers. He's come a long way from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place. I applaud you, Mr Ryan Reynolds... you and those abs.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005351/

Our House in the Middle of our Street

I've decided to start acting like a grown up and think about life in it's big picture. I must say I'm proud of myself. I've worked my ass off lately, kicked tail, bonused like a champ and now dreaming big. I've decided to put my savings towards a fun goal... a down payment on my very own place. Not sure where the hell I'm going to start but I'm guessing that means I have to stop planning frivolous trips. Sad.

Motion to the Ocean

I'm kinda excited these days. For the first time in a long time, I'm injury free (it's all relative) and training for another round of Reach the Beach. We've assembled our 12 person team to skip around the mountains and empty (yet scenic) roads of New Hampshire for a 28-30 hour 200 mile relay . Two years ago, we ran it and I was totally unprepared. I'm going to be ready this year. During the past two months, I've knocked down 10 lbs and more focused than ever. Bring it.

Ghost of Christmas Past

Lately, I've been feeling slightly introspective. I honestly think I'm trying to figure myself out. (Good luck, right?). I'm pretty sure on NYE, the gals and I took drunken champagne vows to leave our pasts in the PAST where they belong... you know, end the recycling program once and for all.

The past month or so has made me think a lot about how much people change over time without realizing it. For instance, take two people who used to be crazy in love with each other and add about 4-5 years of space & growing up. Then throw them back into a weekend situation where they are supposed to pick right up. It's supposed to be an instant connection again, right? WRONG and I can't figure out why but know it's for the best. When I realized I was making 436 excuses why he couldn't come within a few feet proximity to me, I knew we were kicking a dead horse. If it takes you a bottle of wine to even tolerate the person, we might have a problem. We don't want the same things in life and apparently I don't seem to care he's ready to settle down and get married. Good for him. I'm considering writing a thesis on neurological brainwaves and the biochemical processes associated with spending an out of town weekend with your ex. Ok, maybe not. My thoughts hurt just thinking about.

Yelp *

Bassey recently bait and hooked me on three websites... eBay, Mint.com and Yelp. I've decided to link my Yelp page to my blog. One of these days, I'll tack up a gazillion reviews like Bass and join the ranks of the Elite. Until then, stay tuned for updates on our experiences... good and bad!

Recent reviews by Nicole M.

What's this?

The "Perfect" Man

Recently, I had dinner with one of my guy friends and to my surprise he wrongfully accused me of being "complicated" when it comes to men. Disturbed and appalled, I became briefly defensive... 'possibly' blurting out in a Tourette's like manner then laughing it off while reaching for the bottle of wine. As if! I thought he was crazy! I'm a lovable person! Anyhow, I decided to store that critical piece of information for further research and examination...

Jump two months later (what... I've been busy) So, he may have a point. He reads my blog too but I probably won't send him a note to inform him of this update. While there fails to remain a perfect man, there is what I consider the "perfect" man for me.

The "perfect" man for me...

Allows me to think I'm the star even if he's really the one running the show. It's the Leo in me. I can't change that so just go with it.

Is taller than me. There are no ifs, ands or buts around this one. I'm 5'9" and with heels a staggering 6 feet. I refuse to go all "Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise" around town.

Doesn't need to call me every day (I'm not needy) but does need to at least shoot a text to say "Whassssup, sucka?" or "You are the wind beneath my wings." Either will do.

Calls me out when I'm acting ridiculous (very rare) or does something stupid (fairfly common). I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. Seriously, people. I do. Just shake your head and kiss me on the forehand and I won't do it again.

Will read through my Google calendar (every friend of mine is fully equipped with this vital information) and suggest plans when I'm not busy... oh and preferably not the day of. While I'll have brief moments of spontaneity, I do like plans.

Should pay on the first date. This is a deal breaker.

Is a hint of nerdy. I'm an "undercover" geek so it's just a better fit.

Will text me back immediately and not 8 hours or the next day later. By then I've deleted his phone number. Trust me, I do that. Ask my friends.

Is super competitive with me. PS: I will win. If I don't the first time, I won't stop til I do. It will be my new life mission.

Will do the majority of the driving. I drive slow. Enough said.

Isn't "prettier" or high maintenance. I'm extremely low maintenance and if I'm ready before he is, then... "Houston, we have a problem."

Is socially independent. I bounce around with my friends and it makes it tough if he can't keep up. Ok, if he's super introverted then maybe I'll tote him around and hold his hand... only if he's cute. Kidding.

Is not afraid to occasionally hold my hand or hug me in public. I can be eye candy, damnit! Be proud to have me around.

Doesn't spend more time in the gym that he does at work. In fact, he should play on an organized sports team (or 2 or 5). We can't talk about who won the game when all he did was make his neck muscles bigger at Golds Gym. Plus, it'll scare me.

Understands I'm a hopeless romantic and corny at times.

Doesn't dress better than me. Preferably, he can be slightly preptastic with a splash of metrosexual. No overdoing of the hair product, please.

Doesn't smoke.

Understands I have an affinity for drunk texts and sometimes a lot of them... not just to him. I drunk text everyone.

Doesn't spend all day playing video games. The occasional Wii is acceptable but be sure to know I search and destroy when it comes to Wii bowling, tennis or shuffleboard.

Likes a healthy balance of bar hopping and laying in bed all day together watching football or movies.

Never tells me what I can't wear. I'm one classy B and parents love me! I'll shrut in argyle, pearls and cardigans all day but at night with my girls, you better believe we'll push the envelope.

Doesn't have OCD. Sometimes I make messes or spill. If he does suffer from this clinically disabiling psychiatric disorder, I'll purposely screw with his psyche for entertainment purposes then act like I didn't know.

Will watch VT Football with me even if he didn't go to school there. Heck, he'll probably want to carve out time from his precious schedule and make an appearance at Lane Stadium.


Yep, I guess that's it. Hmmm, so moral of the story... I suppose I AM complicated and picky. Now leave me alone... or Call Me! (wink wink)

Report Card

We're almost a month into the new year and I have a confession: I'm failing miserably at my list. I previously calculated my birthday to be the 220th day in August. Yes, I do stuff like that in my free time. Stop judging. To remain on pace, I would need to check off one item every 7.33 days. Yikes! I'm three off! It's not like I haven't been doing anything. In the past three weeks, I've...

• Trained for a new job... which I absolutely love
• Constructed a frivolous spending list... to include Coach, Yurman, Garmin and Tiffany & Co
• Attempted kickboxing at the gym... 90 min somewhere between purgatory & hell
• Started dodgeball... which hurts like a mofo
• Traveled to Charlotte... and was spoiled rotten
• Established my 2009 Reach the Beach Relay Team... hotness
  
• Enjoyed a $250 bottle of Pinot Noir... free... because that's how cool I am
• Finalized Snowshoe weekend skiing plans... Hola, Cuervo weekend
• Agreed to a trip proposal down South... um, yeah
• Set up week long work trip to Toledo... better pack my thermals
  
• Purchased one of two bridesmaid dresses... so far, so good
• Dabbled in the market... it's monopoly money, right?
• Set up my first life insurance policy... yes, that means I'm a grown up. don't kill me

I've halfway started to think about and research in depth my 30 before 30 list numbers 8 and 11 but think I'll have to work on convincing someone to get their asses out West with me so stay tuned. I may get to the point where I start putting 30 names of my friends into a hat and selecting a random who will be forced to assist me. Don't they have a Christmas present exchange using that same concept and I bitch every year how stupid that method is? Yep, that's what I'll use.

Report Card...

Playing nice with others ~ A+
Establishing goals ~ A+
Daydreaming ~ A+
Physical Education ~ C-
Time out alone time ~ F

Resolutions

Yesterday, one of my friends asked me what my New Year's Resolution was. Cranky and tired, I grunted to the effect I didn't make them and they're stupid. Did I mention I was cranky? After a short night's sleep for the second night in a row (Go Hokies... woot woot), I decided this would be the year I would document an official resolution. My resolution is to complete everything I listed for my 30 things to do before I turned 30. If I fail to complete just one, it will be determined I suck at life. So, there you go. Happy New Year.

End the Year With a BANG!

Yikes, so NYE turned out to be a blast and a half! After last year's PJ party, we opted to pull out all the stops and act like retards one last time before wiping the slate clean in the new year. Our actions never to cease to amaze me. Here is an anonymous glimpse.

- Someone decided to spend NYE in their room making out with Ryan Seacrest

- Someone made out with the Purse Holder at midnight

- Someone made out with some random guy who started his preparation 30 minutes earlier in the night

- Someone puked and rallied twice then had a guy still making out with her all night. He didn't know

- A lot of someones put pheromones all over them as a "little experiment"

- Someone brought an array of lingerie choices to the hotel only to have the guy fail miserably

- Someone tumbled up the stairs early in the night and tried to play it off like that behavior was beneath her

- Someone turned down the opportunity to see another someone's penis ring

- Someone had the contents of her whole wallet fall out everywhere on the floor

- Someone ordered $50 in late night PIZZA "just in case people wanted it later"

- Someone met their future husband

- Someone tried to make another someone leave the hotel and go with them back to their place

- Someone brought their vibrator to the hotel

- Someone texted people very inappropriately and wasn't ashamed to share it

- Someone was told "It's a shame you're pretty"

- Someone tried to break up with someone else they weren't even dating

- Someone ordered porn to their room once, decided they didn't like that one so ordered another... and another. Total In Room Entertainment fee = $15.99 x3

- Someone was shoved in a closet naked while the maintenance man came to fix the TV, porn playing in the background the whole time

2008 Year in Review

- Trips to Charleston, Blacksburg and 8 days in the Bahamas

- Concerts for Jimmy Buffett, DMB, Gavin DeGraw & John Legend

- The Tier System was formed

- Someone kept with tradition to hook up on government holidays

- Four someones sat on a couch one afternoon revealing their roster and formulated the magic number to which they had to get married or keep recycling til they did

- Someone tackled another someone into a metal trashcan and then yelled at the other someone for being a wuss

- Someone asked a random 24 year old to make out with her on a dare on 4th of July

- Someone made out with a guy during the whole Jimmy Buffett concert who ended up having a girlfriend and decided not to reveal it until after the show

- Someone hooked up with a guy in Dewey only to find out later there's an article published in the Washingtonian on the same guy being a player and stories of his conquests

- Someone was called the C word by a guy on our field trip to Ned Devines

- Someone sat in the police station waiting for another someone to be released after the bar during kickball season... both still dressed in their Preppy in Pink outfits

- Someone successfully juggled three boys on her birthday

- Someone was too chicken to drink the bottle of Makers Mark previously allocated as a gift

- Two someones were left in the ghetto walking a mile in the rain peeing on bushes like classy girls

- Someone swam in what they thought was a lake after Gold Cup

- Someone else decided to go to Play and Josephines in her Gold Cup dress and flip flops

- Someone left the country for a couple weeks only to return and find out her man crush found someone new and they were already exclusive and had Facebook profile pics as a couple

- Someone asked a guy to go home with her and he replied, "The world is not ending tomorrow"

- Five someones went to a shady strip club in Georgetown where the entrance was up the back fire escape

- Someone did something thankfully no one else witnessed in the driveway of their own house

- Three someones decided to pledge the marble floor and re-enact the rain scene in Step Up 2

- Another someone stood there watching and convinced her friends would die

- Someone thought it was smart to swat a guy at a Redskins game and acted surprised when he tried to punch her back

- Someone left a guy visiting from Miami at a bar

- Someone made out with a guy all night in our private loft then wondered why no one was hanging out up there

- Someone tackled, bit and bruised a guy she didn't know after someone else's birthday party

- After a party, someone woke up in Rockville and had to look at a piece of mail to give her exact coordinates on where to picked up by her friends

- Someone had to drive all around Arlington the day after V-day to track another someone down

- Someone was worried she was late on her period and another someone said, "You can borrow my white skirt that makes mine come. Works like a charm every time"

- EVERYONE failed miserably at their vow to refrain from "recycling" their 2007's into 2008

Will Work For Food

Unemployment sucks ass. Ok, let me back up. The past three weeks were tough. My very small company decided to eliminate important people and see how strong they were surviving on their own. The first collection of synapses in my brain (after the initial OH SHIT) reflected an image of me holding a cardboard sign on the highway or starting a food drive in my name.

I decided to reflect on the things I've learned in this brief time period other than I'm capable of crying 10 times in 21 days. Previous cry sessions equated to 10 times in 29 years so that's impressive. I had no idea I was that sensitive. Yikes. Go me!

- You can be unemployed & moving back to your parent's house and still be considered a "catch"

- There are jobs out there. If you're educated and can't find one, you're too lazy. Yeah, I said it.

- The System works! $378 a week is insane but temporarily awesome.

- Be able to laugh at yourself. Better yet...while on the VEC site and after selecting Hispanic, yell out to your Mother "This can't be good for MY PEOPLE."

- The Dollar Menu Diet is not the answer.

- Coupons are.

- Let your parents tell the whole family what happened. You get unexpected presents and everyone hugs you.

- Your dog will never judge you.

- No man better make me live in the suburbs. Keep me in the city!

- When a guy friend asks you to go to a strip club with him, he's not suggesting you put in an application there.

- Be sure to speak to all your friends at least once a day. I mean, hell... you have the time. Who cares if they're busy. They should understand a life crisis. You would for them!

- Wear a shirt from UVA when walking into the unemployment office. Just sayin.

- Certain orders from a certain Passion Party and a bowl of Mac & Cheese can make everything better even if it's only for a few minutes.

- Be sure to have those items delivered to your friend's house. Less explaining to do.

- You will be completely out of the loop if you only check your email once a day. Worst of all, jokes aren't that funny when you make comments back 8 hours later.

- It's important to be nice to all of your BFF's ex boyfriend's old girlfriends. Trust me. You never know who's involved in making the decision to hire you.

- Run around the house the day you get two vital pieces in the mail... an offer letter and your check from the VEC. Both are stellar.

- Your friends and family will always be there for you. Just be sure to listen to their "tragic" stories too and sympathize even if they're miniscule compared to your situation at that particular moment.

- 2009 is gonna be way more kick ass. Have no regrets.

The World is My Stage

So, the other day I was participating in a interpretive dance session. When I say participating, I really mean being the star of my own show and forcing others to watch... cheering and applauding in high regard. (What?) It happens! It was the end of the day and my brain was daydreaming as usual. I made a comment on how life would be so much more amusing if there was soundtrack playing in the background. I'm sure Mother Nature would provide excellent acoustics to compliment by musical endeavors. All of a sudden, I yelped like I discovered penicillin or something of that magnitude. Once calming my Tourette's-like urge, I compiled a musical collection in chronological order to represent my life at that time.

One may think that's an easy task. I mean, it's only 29 songs, eh? So... scratch that. I cut back to reflect the past twelve years since infantile amnesia presented a degree of difficulty I wasn't up for the challenge to cater. With that said, the first song would represent year 1 to 17. Just take out the part about Britain, being a guy and training for the Olympics. Might as well remove the beach scene too. Who am I kidding... I'm too damn lazy to run in the sand more than 5 minutes.

Side note: If some of my songs have some psychotic underlying meaning I'm not aware of... then the joke is on me.

Track 1-17 ~ Vangelis- Chariots of Fire
Track 18 ~ Dixie Chicks- Wide Open Space
Track 19 ~ Jack Johnson- Better Together
Track 20 ~ Darude- Sandstorm
Track 21 ~ Daft Punk- One More Time
Track 22 ~ Peter Gabriel- In Your Eyes
Track 23 ~ Sheryl Crow-The First Cut is the Deepest
Track 24 ~ Seal- Love's Devine
Track 25 ~ Dido- Hunter
Track 26 ~ The Verve- Bittersweet Symphony
Track 27 ~ Madonna- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Track 28 ~ Webbie- Independent
Track 29 ~ Kanye West- Stronger
Track 30 ~ (Hello? Is there a song about me taking over the world?)

The Big Chill

I was talking with my Dad a month ago catching him up on life and the newest gossip with my friends. My parents love that shit. They wanna know who's dating who, who's working where and what/why things didn't work out. We were chatting about all the '09 weddings of friends of mine they've known a long time and of course I was bragging about all the fabulous destinations these events were being held. I came across to one particular event and their eyes lit up. Of course, I'm referring to that one wedding I'm in... you know... the one with my NINE years of dating history packaged into one wedding party soon to be put out on display. Yeah, good times.

At least I'm not the only one going through it. Enter my BFF. Whew, she's dealing too. I suppose the past 5 or 6 year we've predicted this would happen but whatever. Anyhow, my Dad recommended I watch this movie "The Big Chill"... He said the movie reminds him of my whole crew but replacing the whole funeral part with a wedding. Sparking my curiosity, I took his advice. I have to admit he was right. The parallels the movie and our actual lives were depicted right on queue. I'm going to make my BFF watch it too but she doesn't know that yet. Shh.

Anyhow, I'm interested to see how this all pans out. I mean, for the past 7 years since graduation, we've all gone back every football season or planned random trips around the US in 3/4 size groups. The majority of us were all together earlier this year in Blacksburg already but in January it'll be ALL of us TOGETHER in one sport... oh and again in October for the real deal in a fabulous travel destination. Ha. I believe it may need it's own blog. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

It's really hard for people who don't know us to fully understand the dynamic. I'm not even sure I can explain it. It's such a strong bond where we shared some of our best and worst times together. It's amazing to me that core group stayed together all these years despite breakups, "reunions", moves... etc. I mean, we're all spread out across the country from Charlotte, DC and NYC all the way out to San Diego. No one ever choses sides. We all just stuck it out together. I don't think it'll be a case of returned feelings for anyone but it's got to bring up some sort of emotion... who knows. I often wonder how many other groups of friends there are like this group. Obviously, this movie had it... so it must exist.

I need to make sure to high five Dad next time I see him. He provided a fabulous opportunity for me to tap into my memory bank and heart. I'll leave you with the badass soundtrack...

-You Can’t Always Get What You Want- Rolling Stones
-I Heard It Through The Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
-My Girl - The Temptations.
-Ain't Too Proud To Beg - The Temptations
-Good Lovin' - The Rascals
-The Tracks Of My Tears - Smokey Robinson/The Miracles
-I Second That Emotion - Smokey Robinson.
-Joy To The World - Three Dog Night
-Natural Woman (You Make Me Feel Like) - Aretha Franklin
-A Whiter Shade Of Pale - Procol Harum
-Tell Him - The Exciters

30 before 30

Earlier today I was suffering from some serious writer's block. Enter Jenna. As always, we were busy chatting online about personality types and psychoanalyzing everything since we're both such experts. True story. Anyway, she sent me a link for talent scouting. Don't ask. One of the criteria involved was to list 10-15 things you want to do before you turn 30. At first, I was scared because I turn 30 next August. Yeah, I know.... I act 16. Deal with it. Of course that got me thinking and naturally I dropped my previous task (I swear I'm not ADD) and immediately took a crack at my list. At first I was stuck (go figure bc this was supposed to unblock my brain) but after twenty minutes, I was rockin! So next time someone asks what I want to do, I'll gracefully direct them to my list. Here it goes in no particular order:


1. Sign up for an Introduction to Spanish or Italian course
2. Sign up for a Business course
3. Buy tickets for Fashion Week in NYC
4. Design and sew an outfit
5. Prepare a 5 course meal
6. Finish my painting
7. Try acupuncture
8. Get a professional massage
9. Colon hydrotherapy
10. Climb a rock wall
11. Book a trip to Napa Valley
12. Do a pull-up
13. Do a non girly push-up
14. DC Improv
15. Wolf Trap
16. Newseum
17. Crime and Punishment Museum
18. Spy Museum
19. The Corcoran
20. Tour the Library of Congress
21. Go to Great Falls
22. Buy Hokie football season tickets
23. Try kayaking
24. Learn to make my own sushi
25. Learn to play golf
26. Take a tennis lesson
27. Go snorkeling
28. Take up Yoga
29. Re-learn to play the violin
30. Learn to play the piano

Barack 'n Roll

I'm extremely passionate about many aspects of my life but politics fails to make the cut. Somehow, I found myself at the Obama rally Wednesday in Leesburg to check things out. I voted Red the past two elections (sorry) and made an informed decision to switch things up this term. Of course, you have to understand my political exposure to fully understand the madness. There was this guy (isn't there always... ugh) I dated four years and lived with in/after college. He was from Southwest VA and that's just so happens to be where we were residing as well. Day in and day out, we'd listen to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity speak the "good word." The extent of my political conversations are shown here:

Him: Did you hear Rush says... blah blah blah? Can you believe that?!

Me: Do you think I drew this Gluconeogenesis diagram right? Not sure if I remembered all the enzymes.

Him: Seriously, Nicole. It's unreal how those Liberals think... blah blah blah.

Me: Can you help me with this Physics problem? I fear my brain may implode.

Him: Blah blah blah... Republicans good, Democrats bad.

Me: Oh yeah, that's crazy. (Oh shit, what did he say?! He's one of the smartest guys I know. I mean, he outscored me in every class we had Pre-med together. Omfg, I guess I better believe what he says) <-- WARNING: rookie mistake alert

Basically, that's how I cruised through those handful of years... ignorant but at the same time I don't think I really cared. I moved to DC almost three years ago and that certainly opened my eyes up to politics and allowed me to form my own real live opinion (yes, like a big girl). I'm interested in seeing if he's still as passionate about the conservative mentality living up in NYC. I'll ask when the wedding party (which we're both in) meets up in a couple months for two of our long time best friends.

While I don't claim to be an expert on the issues, I know how I feel with regard to a few. For the most part, I consider myself fiscally conservative and socially liberal. Here's a small glimpse into my highly bizarre/complex mind:

Taxes: I mean, I don't want my taxes to increase but would understand if it needed to after I hit $250K. If I'm making more than that, I'd let a lil more slide to help others. I'm not THAT greedy.

Immigration: I may offend people here but who cares. It's my blog. I actually don't really like the fact any illegal immigrants are here. Can we just send them back and let them "try again" the legal way? If I wanted to sneak into Poland illegally and they found out, I'd expect them to ship my ass back! I'm not sold on this illegal immigrants having a path to citizenship thing. Unfortunately, no one shares this idea with me. I promise I have a soul.

Stem cell research: Alright, so this issue holds a special place in my heart. My mother has MS and I've watched her suffer for 21 years. I 100% support the use of stem cells for research but don't believe in human cloning. For those crazy religious fanatics who believe the cells are people, I want to bitch slap them and then forward my senior research paper.

Abortion: 100% pro choice. I refuse to allow anyone preach to me on what I can or can't do to my own body.

Gun control: I hate guns. I prefer to live in an affluent community fully equipped with ADT security. End of story.

(*** FUN FACT BREAK***) Did you know guns had influence on why we drive on the right side of the road? Back in the day (before Starbucks and Project Runway), people would carry/lay their gun over their left hand while pulling the trigger with their right. In the event they need to bust a cap in someone, it made more sense for them to pass on-goers by walking to their right. In the same sense, people in England kept their knives/swords on their left hip and would draw their weapon with their right hand... which is why they passed on-goers on their left. Now go and amuse your friends at the bar with that short fun fact of the day!

Iraq- My feelings on Iraq have changed over the years. I'm at the point where I believe we can't fix everyone else problems in the world if we have all kinds of issues on the homefront. It's like that trainwreck friend everyone has... what if we spent all this time and energy into fixing her but don't take the time to get a job, a haircut, mani-pedis, rehab, update our facebook...etc ? Can't help everyone if we can't help ourselves.

Healthcare: I'm actually undecided on the notion to move to a universal healthcare system. I need to think about this more and revisit. I do agree the Pharmaceutical companies are raping US citizens but at the same time, their research is important and costs need to be recovered.

Gay rights: Let them be recognized and have their union! I'm positive there are more functional woman/woman or man/man relationships than man/woman. It's religion, once again, that needs to butt out.

Social security: My boyfriend (Obama) and I are in a fight because I think it should be privatized. I don't want to share my hard earned money because someone else doesn't want to prepare for their retirement. I had student loans so I could get my learn on at VT and now work 60+ hours a week while commuting 2 hours a day to make sure my ass is covered.

So there you have it... in a nutshell. I'm far from declaring a party to follow exclusively but for this election, I'm showing my O-face and voting for Obama. Barack 'n Roll, bitches!

Baller on a Budget

In this time of economic crisis, I decided to make a list of events in the DC area combining minimal monetary obligation with maximum appeal. This of course is coming from the girl who's prepared to drop 5-10K on Domestic and International travel in 2009. Good times. The season is changing which means it's time to start hibernating and get back in touch with my more cultural and intellectually stimulating side. Here's a few events I found...

DRAG QUEEN RACE @ Dupont Circle- October 28th 9PM, Free

THE METROPOLITAN COOKING & ENTERTAINMENT SHOW @ The DC Convention Center- November 8-9th, $20

FOTO WEEK @ The National Geographic Museum- November 15-22nd, Free

PRESENTING DAVID YURMAN @ The Corcoran- Tuesday, November 18th 7PM, $25

INGRID MICHAELSON @ The Birchmere- November 25th, $25

WINE & MOVIE NIGHT @ Landmark E Street Cinema- First Wednesday of every month, $14.50

GALLERY OPENING RECEPTIONS @ Dupont Circle- First Friday of every month, Free

BLACK HOLES: THE OTHER SIDE OF INFINITY @ The Air and Space Museum IMAX, Through November 20th, $8.50

MUSIC AND THE BRAIN SERIES LECTURE @ The Library of Congress- Starting October with weekly seminars, Free

AMERICAN HISTORY MUSEUM
Reopening November 21st, Free

DC FASHION WEEK
February 15-22nd

Fact Check, Fact Check... 1-2-1-2

Guys have a Sixth sense. Seriously, it’s a fact. I’ve noticed it around my friends lately… just when a girl has 100% moved on completely from whatever R-ship or weekend/hourly fling she found herself mixed up in, the guy goes all “The Butler from Mr Deeds” style and pops back in to screw with her head. She can be the most confident woman known to man but once that bounce back happens, she’s left wondering WTF?! People don't change that fast. It’s a game to them! Their thought process is similar to… "She looks happy. She doesn’t need me. Hell, bet she hasn’t thought about me once. I better make sure I tell her how much I miss her, love her and all the crazy things we should do together again. Yeah, that’s it. That’s what I’ll do because it will single-handedly sabotage any chance she has to be happy and move on. Good idea. I’m so smooth. Look at me go… Weeeeeeeeee..." (insert text message time stamped 2am here). Dude, we're on to you.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

So lately I've been a little stressed. There's just way too much going on in my life with family illness, work, overcommitments, everyday blahs and to be perfectly honest... it's a tad overwhelming. In the spirit of it all, I decided to make a list of things that make me happy. I mean, I'm a natural optimist so it seems appropriate to focus on life's little pleasures.

-Running over the Key Bridge

-Standing on the top of a ski slope looking down

-Spending all day and night on the couch with your best gals

-Hawaiian thin crust pizza and a handful of Netflix movies

-Accurate diagnosis and treatment of a friend or family member's ailment. Nerd Alert.

-That first sip of Blue Moon

-New Years Eve just before midnight

-Waking up early on a Saturday, drinking coffee in bed and watching College Game Day

-Bubble bath, candle and Frank Sinatra

-Enter Sandman in Lane Stadium

-Spread out on the beach with nothing but the sound of the ocean

-That whole Canon in D song

-Stamping my passport

-Checking out an art gallery or museum

-Painting

-Not knowing how or why things always work out, just knowing they DO

Thank You for Not Smoking

My fuse has been short lately with smokers. I mean, I never really took the time to realize how many people I know smoke. I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal int he slightest. I make stupid decisions all the time. It just seems like it doesn't phase them when I express how difficult it's been for me to deal with my family member dying of brain cancer stemmed directly from lung cancer. Let the record show... the second family member. It's like they don't care because it's not their problem now. It will be... and it breaks my heart to think about it.

How to Make an Arlington Man

2 cups B.S. from Virginia Tech **
1 1/4 cups Attended high school in Northern Virginia
1/2 T College fraternity
1 cup Facebook page
2 T Drives a BMW
2/3 tsp Job in IT or Consulting
1/3 cup Button downed collared shirt
1 tsp Prefers True Religions or Seven Jeans
1/2 cup Finely tuned eyebrows
2 tsp Use of hair product
1 T Found Thursdays at The Grill or Ballroom

** Substitute UVA, JMU or GMU as needed

Optional: MBA from Georgetown or GW

Mix together in medium bowl. Combine thoughts that anything not on the Orange Line is long distance. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes. Makes 20-25.

Short stop

Lately, I've getting this uncomfortable feeling around short people. Now this could sound completely offensive so I apologize in advance. For some odd reason, they're everywhere and it's freaking me out. They keep screwing up my pictures too. What am I supposed to do... squat down and risk you messing up my hair?! Ugh... and to think that at any moment you're at the perfect height to motorboat rape me. It's terrifying. Anyhow, I have this preconceived notion any women shorter than me is inferior. I'm tall and proud to tower over you. Stop making me feel bad when I wear heels. It's not my issue. I'm done drinking my Hatorade.

What's in a Name?

Nicknames. Everybody loves a good nickname. Sometimes a guy doesn't know he has one until it’s too late. In our group of friends, your nickname sticks until you prove you’re worthy enough to maintain your real name. If you don’t think you have a nickname, you’re wrong. Some may consider it cruel and unusual punishment. We’re okay with that. If by chance we accidentally refer to you by your nickname, do us a favor and stop asking us to change it. It’s not gonna happen. Just go with it and hope the next group of girls you "encounter" focuses on another trait. I’d like to share a few of my favorites from my girlfriends. Sorry boys. Better luck next time.

Easy E
Boy Toy
Purse Holder
Mental Midget
Canada
Sour Patch Kid
A1
A2
Greek Nick
Sizzler
Tyrannosaurus Rex Arms
Asshole
23
24
Cat Forwards
Pittsburgh Penis
10 Seconds
Stalker
Two-faced Mason
Has a Girlfriend
Australia Boy
Zero Effect
Nuvaring
Sensomatic

This list continues and updates weekly. Stay tuned and stop trying to figure out who you are.

That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

Okay, okay... To make it fair, I’ve also included a list of “That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You” based on discussions through gchat sessions, emails and endless hours of weekend brunches. Again, anonymous to protect the girls and I.

- If you thinks it's cute to send a girl cat forwards, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you send puppy dog pictures on an email, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you create a Facebook page and she discovers you’re her only friend, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you go out with a girl once and then your brother suddenly shows up to interview at her company, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you talk about marriage and having children on the first date, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you're too small and she can’t feel it, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you sabotage her birth control, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you go up to a girl and say “finish me,” That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you show up at girl’s house and bang on the door for an hour…uninvited, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you tell a girl you like her and then make out with her friend, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If a girl stays at your house for the first time and the next morning you tell her to call the Red Top cab, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you instruct a girl’s coworker to leave a note on her computer saying, “I still love you baby girl,” That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

-If you have a cuter and way cooler brother, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you have bad breath, That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

- If you call a girl fifty times, she doesn't answer and then you sends a final text saying “I guess I should stop trying,” That May Make Her Not Want To Be That Into You

He’s Just Not That Into You

In the spirit of the movie based on the book coming out later this year, “He’s Just Not That Into You,” I decided to take it upon myself to reflect on the actions/phrases my girls and I experienced over the past couple years. I like to reflect. It’s fun… and we all like fun. Some of these I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Identities are to remain anonymous in order to protect the innocent but far from lonely victims. I fear this list will continue to grow. Good times.

- If he decides to move to Africa, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If you try to make a move on him and he tells you “The world is not ending tomorrow,” He’s Just Not That Into You

- If you leave the country for 2 weeks and the guy you’re dating starts dating someone else, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If he invites you to the beach, mysteriously un-invites you and then decides to bring another girl, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If you have a really fun night out then he doesn’t accept your Facebook friend request, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If you try to meet up with him to get your earrings back/ return his shirt and he says “just keep it”, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If you break up with him to see if he’ll change his behavior, it’s been a year, he’s not running back and he moves to Miami, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If he says after years of dating that he doesn’t think he EVER wants to get married, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If he’s dating five other girls in different cities, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If you can’t remember the last time the guy you’re dating kissed you, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If he only wants to hang out after midnight when he’s drunk, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If he’s watching TV when you’re having sex, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If you go out to dinner with the girls and you run into the man you’re dating…with his wife, He’s Just Not That Into You or his wife

- If he averages 2-3 days to reply to a text, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If a guy you went out on a date with goes out with you and your friends and then ends up making out with one of your friends in a corner, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If the guy you’re dating says he thinks he’s past his sexual peak, He’s Just Not That Into You

- If he tells you he loves you and keeps all his stuff at your house after two weeks of dating & starts dating another girl in FL, He’s Just Not That Into You

Random Facts About Me You May Not Know: Part Deux

A continuation of the list dated May 8, 2006...

-I like making lists. Duh!

-I threw my Life Plan out about 4 years ago

-If it's not written down, I've already forgotten about it

-My favorite food is Snow Crab Legs. If required to eat one food the rest of my life, I would have to choose Pizza Hut's thin crust ham & pineapple with their delightful garlic dipping sauce. Yeah, that'll pack it to you!

-I want to know why they discontinued Jell-O Pudding Pops. The vanilla ones were devine! On that note, since when did Wendy's get rid of their breadsticks? Seriously, good shit.

-I'm allergic to everything green and growing

-I used to have sports induced asthma as child but thankfully grew out of that

-I'd move to San Diego or NYC in a heartbeat

-My two favorite and most memorable trips were in Vegas (2004) and NYC (2006)

-I don't know how; to properly use a; semicolon in a sentence;

-I don't eat desserts and not a huge fan of sweets minus the occasional key lime pie or creme brulee

-When I lived in Germany, I used to hurdle those clothed electric fences (the ones intended for cows) to make sure I was adequately prepared for track meets. Kids, don't try this at home!

-I wonder if reality is another form of dreaming we just haven't figured out how to wake up from

-You'll never find me skydiving or bungee jumping... EVER!

-I think the government should get rid of the penny. They smell funny!

-I like it when the guy drives

-My top travel destinations are Italy, Greece, Thailand and Rio de Janeiro

-I've never dated a smoker

-I prefer all meat cooked medium

-I'm obsessed with movies involving the CIA or FBI

-If I could choose any career, I would: be a spy in the CIA, take over Guiliana Rancic's job on E! News or be a college professor

-I will hang on to things until they're broken or falling apart. Please note: This does not apply to men. If you don't know what I'm talking about, please see refer to my MP3 player that's taped together and impossible to read any song titles. Apparently, it's 2008 and I didn't get the memo. I guess it's time for an Ipod... (sigh)

-I lack the gene that makes me ooh and ahh at babies and kittens. Puppies I can do!

-I love riding the metro

-I want a Blackberry but think it would be a bad idea

-I listen to Frank Sinatra when getting ready and prance around my room with jazz hands

-When I was younger, I traveled to Catalina Island once. From then on, I daydreamed about setting up a permanent residence on the island while cruising around in my golf cart

-I secretly think sharks and alligators will find their way into any swimming pool I'm in... through the drains of course

-My favorite wine is Kris Pinot Grigio. I found it by accident being instantly drawn to the green handprint on the label

-On that note, I'm easily amused

-I don't believe in soulmates

-I used to be fairly sensitive until one day I just stopped being such a wuss

-I do believe as scary as it is, sometimes you have to go against everything you know, take a leap a of faith and put yourself out there. Stop living in the comforting feeling that not knowing is always better

-I have Television ADD: I'm watching the TV but not really watching it or remembering what I just heard or saw

-I have Radio ADD: I turn through about 50 songs until I find the one I like, then instantly change it again after about 30 seconds

-I have computer ADD: I maintain an average of 10 tabs open on my Firefox at any given moment and switch back and forth at an abnormal rate

-I think I just diagnosed myself with ADD. Awesome. Self discovery is the best!

-On that note, my interest in Abnormal Psychology translates to me having already diagnosed you

-My most embarrassing moment in life was in 4th grade when I was hit in the head with a rock one afternoon and split my head. The following day, I was in the cafeteria and they were serving enchiladas. Since the sauce reminded me of the blood from my head, I fainted and dropped/broke my tray. Everyone stood up and clapped (4th graders are so cruel) and I was mortified

-I'm a fast (but visual) learner

-White Lie Alert: I tell people I hate oysters even though I've never tried them

-I'm afraid of guns

-If you take too long to explain something to me, I've already blocked you out

-In past moments of great distress, I've been known to pick up my paintbrush and canvas

-I'm a huge fan of Modern art

-I could care less about NASCAR or NBA

-My longest Plant Relationship is now going on 4 years. I started at 5 bamboo stalks and I'm down to one. My green thumb never fully developed. My name is Nicole and I'm a plant killer (Hello, Nicole)

-My country club sport of choice is tennis but I really want to play golf

-I love skiing and will never switch to snowboarding

-I believe everybody has their price no matter how ethical they claim to be

-As a young aspiring child scientist, I used to jump off the roof of my house to test the umbrella and trash bag theory. My conclusion: Neither eased the fall

-I have a taste aversion to straight liquor. Tack that up to a past tragic experience with Bacardi 151

-I used to rollerblade on my parents' ceramic floors while they were at work. The housekeeping lady never told on me once and saved the floors for last

-I was extremely introverted until about the age 12. My parents would force me to have sleepovers and play with others

-I used to perform balance beam routines on 6-inch wide rafters 20 feet in the air. It helped me stayed focussed

-Cheese was my favorite food as a child and my mother rarely bought it. When I was 10 or so, I used to go on bike rides to the grocery store a few miles away to buy a block of Longhorn. Seriously, so odd

-I believe that if you can't love yourself, how the hell do you expect anyone else to love you?

-I often wonder why so many people just give up and SETTLE... "Settling is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get"

-I think some of the most beautiful people I know are the ones who aren't even trying to be

-I can't live without the internet, cellphone, chapstick, my digital camera or flip flops

-I live by the good words of Sinatra... "The best is yet to come"

The Brazen and the Beautiful

I felt like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders last week. You know, when you feel like everything in your life is falling spectacularly into pieces and you have no idea why? Well, the good thing was I wasn’t alone. You never are. I had three of my close girlfriends beside me who agreed the four of us would remove the past 7 days from our memory banks. Call it a defense mechanism, whatever you like. Either way, we’d just celebrate 51 weeks in 2008. When the going gets tough, the tough goes on an adventure.

Our adventure was “How to be a Brazen Burlesque Dancer” and offered as a free workshop at Artomatic in DC. On that rainy morning, we grabbed our yoga pants, heels, last ounce of dignity and ventured into Northeast. Our class was taught by no other than Bambi G and Coco, two of DC’s “It Girls” in the world of burlesque. I’m now a firm believer Burlesque is the best medicine. I mean, the words of these two strangers were so empowering. They were 100% comfortable with themselves and advised us no matter what we do, just own it. Brilliant. Of course we volunteered to step up to the challenge. Once the music (FEVER) started playing, we were locked in the zone. (Not now Chief, I'm in the zone!)

I made a successful attempt at boa seduction, even though Jenna said I poked a feather in her contact. I’m going to put it all out there and say my forte was the shimmy. I owned it! Anyhow, we dabbled in to the history and then instructed how to work a chair, make/use pasties and tassels. Can you sense an Arts and Crafts Night in the making? I think so! We learned how to position our arms to make the tassels move in every direction possible. So awesome! We vowed this would be the season of Brazen! Hold nothing back… be the Brazen and the Beautiful. We strutted out of the class and moments later the sun peered through the clouds. I couldn’t help but notice how bizarre it was the weather paralleled our moods but I won’t read too much into it and tack it up to coincidence.

We decided to take our newly discovered brazen attitudes and introduce them to the world. Here we come! We would start with the bar and make our way from there. For the first time that week, we embraced the mutual feeling of being absolutely content. First topic of discussion: Our stage names, songs and props. The list included Kiki, Cami, Desiree and Star (that’s me. holla). Let it be know the M in S&M does not stand for Machoism. We would continue with our Educal Word of the Day: Brazen. Yes Jenna, go call your Mom and learn your words! Future phrases of Hide & Seek, Lost & Found, Sensomatic, Sour Patch (Bipolar) and would forever be cast into our vocab list.

When things couldn’t get any more amusing, enter the bartender. Funny story really. He approached our table and instantly recognized Kim from last summer. He brought us our drinks and immediately informed us he deleted her number and would like to have it back. We suggested we come up with three things he needed to do to deserve the digits back. Now, with the four of us at the table as the think tank, this could have gotten really out of hand. We decided to play it safe and set the parameters. 1) He demonstrates a Shimmy for us 2) He draws a tattoo incorporating Kim’s name on his hand and sport it the remainder of the day 3) He sings her happy birthday and brings us shots. Well, as it turned out he opted for the tattoo instantly and minutes later brings all the guests from inside of the bar to the outside to sing, with a shimmy to end. Please note: It was police week and the old school cops on Harley bikes joined in on the rendition. Like a knight post jousting victory, he approached to claim his title prize… Kim’s digits. We often note the fact someone should send a camera crew and follow us around. Seriously, we can’t make this shit up. We would follow that up with a schizophrenic man in a leisure suit going all Tourette's to nearby children… Case in point.

Our part 1 of the day was perfect. It didn’t matter what lay ahead in Part 2. You know how they say you should be grateful to have just one girlfriend in your life who you share your raw thoughts, feelings, hope and dreams with… the person who would drop everything they’re doing to be by your side in both the good times and bad? Well, I am fortunate enough to have twelve and my life is more fulfilled because of it.

*UPDATE* Turns out the guy was a dud. It appears her SUV Soccer Mom hopes and dreams of 2.2 children and a Labradoodle will just have to wait for the time being.

Things That Annoy Me

-When you're standing at an elevator clearly waiting for it to reach your floor and someone steps up and hits the button AGAIN like you never did in the first place and standing there for shits and giggles. Okay, totally long winded run-on sentence but it's irks me to no end.

-Dog owners that force you to pet their dog or let it jump up on you. I love my dog but don't necessarily want yours jumping, drooling or scratching on me.

-Friends who think it's polite to ask you, the nonsmoker, to allow them to smoke in their car or at the table while you're eating. When I need someone to donate an organ for me in the future, I'm calling you (except you can keep the black lung).

-Parents who allow their children to: Scream uncontrollably, eat fast food/candy all the time wondering why their kids are overweight and full of cavities, run around with no supervision and have snotty crusty faces. May the children I don't want for at least another 5 years be perfect.

-When I wear a skirt to work and drive on the beltway. It never fails that some creepy guy will have his body out the window trying to get a glimpse of leg. It's so foul and often I grab the passenger visor and face it towards that window.

-Tardiness, unless I'm drunk and the one who's late. Then, I could care less and you should be happy with me for that.

-When someone uses 10 words to explain when 1 or 2 will work just fine.

-People who rubberneck in traffic. I swear I can write a blog on the psychology behind traffic patterns.

-Those ladies at the make up counter. You look like clowns and I'm already suffering from PTSD after watching Stephen Kings 'IT' as a young child.

-Those people at the aromatherapy and funny spray/lotion stands. My skin is sensitive and last thing I need is for it to look like a oompa loompa after you drown me in some overpowering cream or spray.

-That crazy lady outside Nordstrom at Pentagon City Mall who chases me down with a $200 hair straightener even though I repeatedly tell her I have one that was $30.

-The people who came up with a non logical system for clothing sizes. Explain to me how am I an XS/2 at one store and XL/8 at another. It's not good for my psyche!

-The scale at my Dr's office. Who cares if it's more accurate than my $5 Target scale. The Target one lies to me and I'm fine with that.

-People who are judgemental about cars. Who cares what car so and so drives?! My answer is usually related to the color of the auto in question. I know colors. Don't know cars.

-Guys that are super metrosexual. I used to like you guys but over it for a couple years now. You're a man... so act like it and stop trying to be prettier than me.

-When people you're hanging out with spend more time texting in front of you rather than talking to you. Go hang out with them if they are more important.

-High maintenance girls or girls that ask you 100 times if they look okay. I mean, seriously.

-Cat hair or excessive dog hair.

-Expired coupons.

What You're Not Supposed To Do at Gold Cup, Abridged Edition

Based on countless recap stories from my friends, I decided to compile a list of what you're not supposed to do at Gold Cup.

-Fail to eat any of the food at your All Inclusive set up, causing you to do the following: Make out with your guy friend in public/on camera and confess to your friends you think you're falling in love with him.

-Be the friend that you are and encourage the other friend in question to "Go for it. What do you have to lose? Love is crazy."

-Juggle three guys at not only one event, but one tent.

-Roll around with a total stranger in front of the 11 tent, make out in front of dozens of cameras.

-Pretend you're an expert at interpreting text messages after 10 hours into drinking. Then, send a totally irrational message but end it with a smiley face to let the person know you're just joking. Brilliant really.

-Get kicked out of Gold Cup.

-Wake up at a random house with only the aid of an addressed envelope as reference to you're current GPS location.

-Take Xenadrine in the morning and decide to pop a couple more throughout the day because it just wasn't enough.

-Decide it's a good idea to go clubbing after an all day drinkfest... still in your dress and pearls.

-Willingly swim in a so called "lake" attached to the horse race venue.

Concerto!

It's concert season so I decided to reflect on my past experiences in the wonderful world of music. I was thinking about the performances and discovered quite a variety. It must be all those years playing as a concert violinist and choir chick. Good times.

1986- Annie in Boston, MA. Seriously, I know the words to every song!
1994- Don Giovanni on Easter Sunday in the Vienna Opera House in Austria. Quasi-awesome!
1995- Alanis Morissette in DC
1996- The Toadies in DC
1996- Smashing Pumpkins. Scored backstage passes. Billy Corgan called me a Still Flower. That's special.
1998- Dave Matthews Band
1998- Shania Twain
1998- N Sync
1999- Third Eye Blind
2005- Widespread Panic. Lots of pretty colors.
2006- Dave Matthews Band
2006- Handel's Messiah at the Kennedy Center
2007- Phantom of the Opera at the Kennedy Center
2007- Dave Matthews Band
2007- Jimmy Buffett
2008- Dave Matthews Band
2008- Jimmy Buffett

Some of my Must See's include U2, The Police, Red Hot Chili Peppers, STP, Elton John and Madonna. Somebody please make this happen. In return, I promise to sing every song. Selling points... it's all about the selling points.

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane...

I've been fairly busy lately and neglecting my blog. Just after New Years the girls (Team Orange) and I decided to form our Skinny Bitch Dinner Club with the intent of meeting once week for 6 weeks and only preparing healthy low carb food. We would break a week and resume another 6 weeks leading up to Dewey Beach. Our motto: Friends don't let friends wear a one piece in Dewey. It started out great and kicked started that chillaxin metabolism of ours but as the weeks have gone on, I feel it's turned into a Wine-o Club... I hope we get back on track next week and focus on the common goal.

What I'm super stoked about the trips planned for 2008! This is my year to travel... which is good because I'm pretty sure I can't remember my last vacation. No, Dirrrty Dewey was never filed under vacation destinations. Anyhow, I'm destined to eat Ramen noodles the remainder of '08 but at least the trips will be fabulous!

April: Charleston, SC- Kickin it it Sullivan's Island with my best friend and our other two best friends from Charlotte. Should be awesome and I'm fully prepared to swan dive into the ocean. Ok, maybe not but at least it will be relaxing. I opted out of the Cooper River Bridge Run and convinced my best friend to do the same. I'm on vacation and don't need t0 be running an effing 10K... We'll drink mimosa's and cheer for the other 8 staying with us while they run. We'll point at them and secretly laugh.

April: Blacksburg, VA- Tech Spring Game and our Best Guy Friend's 30th Birthday Party. Who cares if none of us live in Blacksburg anymore. We're committed fans, damnit. This will be a shitshow weekend with my old college girls/guys.

May: Dewey Beach, DE- I didn't kill enough liver cells last year... need to finish the job off this year. What could be more exciting than a quasi Spring Break mentality with your best girlfriends in beach house? Who cares we're all almost 30... age is a number. Plus, we totally have at another 4-5 years until we're labeled "those creepy old cougars"... which is just scary.

May: Grand Bahamas Island, The Bahamas- I will be the 2008 Bahama Mama. This will be an awesome 7 day trip consisting of morning cocktails, the beach, island dancing and relaxation!

September: Italy- I've never been more excited about any travel destination that ITALY! The plan is to fly into Naples and travel to The Amalfi Coast, Capri, Rome, Cinque Terre, Florence, Siena and then fly out of Venice. All this will take place over 10 days... sigh. I'm already highly considering never returning. I'll spend my days frolicking through the city streets shouting out Italian words I don't know yet. A girl's gotta dream...

November: Cancun, Mexico- Thanksgiving in Cancun is going to be what I like to call kinda awesome. I suppose this means I'll be missing the 2008 VT/UVA game, but just this once I'm okay with that. Who knows... I may laying on the beach forgetting it's even Thanksgiving while I'm there. Does Butterball make a turkey substitute in Mexico?

So there you have it. I have absolutely no more room for additional vacations in 2008... unless it's to a really really fun place. Please advise!

Umm, excuse me... you're too close to my Soul

Ok ok, so I already posted a tid bit on Eat, Pray, Love and made it very clear I suck (a complete failure, to put it nicely) at meditation. I'm thoroughly convinced Adderall is required for any future attempts. I learned in my bookclub meeting last night that vibrating your nose helps to eliminate distractions. I may have to give this another shot and keep you posted on latest developments.

One of the points of the book we addressed was choosing one word used to describe yourself. Sounds simple, but it’s not. I can think of five words used to describe myself off the bat: Independent, Loyal, Inquisitive, Extraverted and Impassive. Umm, yeah. Basically, I'm a super social butterfly who will be there for you at the drop of a hat but doesn't open up much on her own feelings for fear it may disinterest you. So... after narrowing it down, I stuck with Inquisitive. Anyone that knows me, would agree. Try it at home, kids. It’s fun to self-reflect!

Anyhow, I decided to include an additional entry on this book as it made me think a lot about whether fate or soul mates existed. I don’t believe in fate, per say but think it’s more a series of events and choices made in life that lead you to certain people. As far as soul mates are concerned, I think my interpretation of the word was misguided. I do feel like there are people that come into your life for a reason and that reason is to help figure yourself out. I never considered that a soul mate, as I don’t think there is one person out there for me. I mean, how much would that suck if I never found them? That's a lot of pressure! Anyhow, I feel my view was clearly expressed in the following passage:

“Your problem is you don’t understand what the word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.”

Brilliant, really.

Addendum

I decided after careful consideration to include an addendum to my blog entry on January 14th. Let me start my saying, I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings here. I just want to give back to the community and provide a list of phrases that should never come out of a guys mouth when a girl has made it very clear they aren't interested... and why. Looks like somebody needs a life coach. Not a sermon, just a thought.

1. "I got better looking since you last saw me"-- Really? Wow, because that totally erases all the really pathetic and annoying things you said to me before. I'm a completely shallow person and only care about looks.

2. "I'm making more money in my new job. Now maybe you'll want to hang out with me" -- I can't even comment on this. It's too painful. Next...

3. "So are we still hanging out this weekend? Do I need to bring a present to the party?" -- Girls don't like it when boys make an attempt at funny and invite themselves to hang out. Get your own friends and life. Stay far far far away from mine.

4. "I hope you're happy. Keep the book as a gift. That way when you stop hanging out with him, you have a reason to call me." -- Wow, that's such a great idea. He should write a book on how to keep women around. Gag. me. now. please!

5. "I think I'm going to call you this week but not tell you when because you might turn your phone off" -- Sweetheart, that's why caller ID was invented. You're in IT, you should know this... silly goose.

6. "I'll call you later this week busy bee; and we'll see if you return my call; my guess- YES" -- No (adjective). Used to express refusal, denial, disbelief, emphasis or disagreement (i.e.) No, I am not going. No, you're wrong. No, I won't return you're call.

7. "The best part of my day is seeing you" -- The best part of my day is not hearing from you. And who taught you how to use AIM anyway? They should be publicly humiliated.

8. "What's that mean; you can go to dinner with other boys except for me?" -- It means I'd rather deprive myself of essential nutrients than eat with you.

9. "Well, I had 'a Brief History of Time' with you; my loss" -- Wow, way to work in the book name. So funny. Maybe he's worth reconsidering. Haha. J/k. You got Punk'd!

10. "I know u keep telling me that; it's another way to say 'alright already'; but you're just too pretty for me to throw in the towel" -- Ladies and gentlemen, it was nice knowing you all. I'd prefer open bar and white orchids at my funeral. Carry on with life and God bless each and every one of you. XOXO and all that jazz, Me.

Look at me, I'm a lotus flower

Lately, I've been on this quest for inner peace. I'm not even sure what the hell that means or if I'm capable of achieving anything remotely peaceful but it's worth a shot. Since the new year, I've made an attempt at a more alternative approach to life and researched the heck out of Eastern medicinal practices: acupuncture, reflexology, meditation and colonics (another blog for another time). I'm already predicting my last words will be "it seemed like a fabulous idea at the time" but we'll see how it all pans out.

I'm convinced my Chi is all out of whack. I'm sure my head is out of whack too, but that's not the issue I'm willing to address at this particular moment. I'll remain in denial for the time being. Anyhow, my left leg has managed to remain numb on the hypodermal layer over the past month. I feel like my own little science experiment although certain it's just a pinched nerve. Either way, I'm considering all options for recovery.

So, it comes as a complete coincidence our January bookclub selection was Eat, Pray, Love... a brilliant memoir on one woman's search for happiness and balance. Sounds fabulous so sign me up. I decided to baby step my way and begin with meditation. I found myself perched upright on my bed, legs crossed, eyes closed and arms resting on my knees. Having discovered the TV was left on, I cursed a little and resumed position as a lotus flower. Look at me, I'm a lotus flower.

Ok, so 15 seconds passes... Sitting in complete silence doesn't appear to be working. If only I could find a mute button on my chatterbox mind for 5 minutes, I'd be on my way. Ugh. I'm not saying it's entirely impossible, I just need coaching. In the meantime, I'll stick to running.

ENTJ

So my new obsession is self discovery. One thing I've always known about myself is that I have to research everything about a topic that's peaked my interest. If I don't, I feel restless until I do. Sounds simple enough. So a couple weeks ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop in DC with Jenna and Rishi. We're discussing everything from past/future travel adventures to my inability to remember names to bubble baths with ex-boyfriends. (Note: Rishi's new gf was there too but I can't recall her name.) Go figure.

Everything was great until the two of them brought up the Myers-Briggs test. For once, I sat in complete silence. I could barely sit still to find what I was. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a personality questionnaire designed to identify certain psychological differences according to the typological theories of Carl Jung. And to think I took 4 psychology classes in college. How did I miss this? The two of them noted their predictions and I was sent on my way.

Here are the results using the test www.humanmetrics.com

ENTJ (Extroverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging)

"As an ENTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. ENT’Js are natural born leaders. They have a drive for leadership, which is well-served by their quickness to grasp complexities, their ability to absorb a large amount of impersonal information and their quick/decisive judgments. They are "take charge" people.

ENTJ’s want their home to be beautiful, well-furnished, and efficiently run. They're likely to place much emphasis on their children being well-educated and structured, to desire a congenial and devoted relationship with their spouse. The ENTJ is likely best paired with someone who has a strong self-image, who is also a Thinking type.

ENTJ’s love to interact with people. As Extroverts, they're energized and stimulated primarily externally. There's nothing more enjoyable and satisfying to the ENTJ than having a lively, challenging conversation. They especially respect people who are able to stand up to the ENTJ, and argue persuasively for their point of view. There aren't too many people who will do so, however, because the ENTJ is a very forceful and dynamic presence who has a tremendous amount of self-confidence and excellent verbal communication skills. Even the most confident individuals may experience moments of self-doubt when debating a point with an ENTJ.

The positive traits of an ENTJ are that they are Assertive, Outspoken, Confident, Outgoing, Energetic, Charismatic, Fair-minded and they aren't affected by Conflict or Criticism. ENTJ's in general have a great amount of personal power and this is how they end up preferring to take charge also ENTJ's are "knowledge-seekers" as they strive to learn new things, which help them become good problem-solvers.

Their negative traits contradict their strengths and may appear Argumentative, Confrontational, Insensitive, Intimidating, Controlling and Overwhelming. There's not much room for error in the world of the ENTJ. They dislike to see mistakes repeated and have no patience with inefficiency. They may be considered aloof and cold-hearted since ENTJ's appear to take a tough approach to emotional or personal issues, and so feeling and value judgements are not a place for ENTJ's.

Famous ENTJs:

Frankline Roosevelt
General Norman Schwarzkopf
Steve Jobs
Bill Gates
Margaret Thatcher
Al Gore

In summary, I'm not really sure how people put up with me! Holy crap. I feel enlightened but not at all surprised on the results. And yes, as a knowledge seeker I've already taken it to the extreme and googled every page imaginable on the topic. Just love me for who I am and don't change me. Thank you and good day.

Love is a Battlefield

Jump right into my nightmare, the water is warm. I made a couple promises to blog about Friday’s date. The girls preferred a camera crew follow me around but that might have made things weird…just speculating. Anyhow, I had a date with a guy I met the weekend before. Yes, me... and not the kind where you meet up with him at a bar with your friends or after 2am. I met him the weekend before at a bar. He approached me and we started talking. I don’t know if it was the FIVE double vodka/club sodas on an empty stomach or our conversation that sparked my interest. He told me how he wanted to take me to Dubai this summer (I believe he said "I'm taking you to Dubai but first you have to tell me where I'm taking you on our first date") and how he’s inviting himself on my trips to the Bahamas and Italy. Whoah Nelly, ease the eff up. I should have known from the thin gold necklace hidden under the collar of his shirt that it would never work out. Major fashion faux paus in my book but I figured it was a new year and I should step out of my comfort zone and open up to new things. Oh yeah, did I mention he went to FSU? Two pre-STRIKES. Anyhow, we talked the next day and he came up with the idea to take me to have a couple drinks at his place then walk across the street to see a comedy show. Sounds simple enough.

I’ll admit I was kind of nervous at first. I mean, I really didn’t know this guy. I walked in and was pleasantly surprised. Two positive points: He was a little cuter than I remembered AND bought vodka/club soda ahead of time to serve me. We started talking about the most random things and after one drink, I felt a little more relaxed. He asked me my opinion on how to decorate his new place. If he knew anything about me, he would know I can’t match colors but whatever. It kind of bothered me he dumped ice on the floor of his freezer on purpose to store it. I mean, maybe it wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't taken 2 semesters of Micro/ Food Microbiology with labs in college... that's some serious cross contamination in the making. I tried to block out the image of burger meat in his freezer dripping on my ice.... Ugh, no dice.

We did have the same interest in studying the universe, black holes and psychology. Apparently, he’s an ENTJ too but I didn’t have immediate access to the internet and wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Reminds me, I should look that up today. I told him the book I wanted to read, “A Brief History of Time” and he just happened to have it and let me borrow it. Too bad he followed that up with, "I think I deserve a kiss on the cheek for that one." Instead, I immediately shoved a cracker with hummus in my mouth.

This guy wasn’t so bad. That is until we started talking about movie and music interests. I didn’t want the conversation to die so I turned into the sorority girl in rush asking random conversation starters like “Top 5 favorite movies. No explanation. Go.” He told me his and they seemed legit although I’d never actually seen 4 outta the 5. He turned the question on me and of course without hesitation I responded, “Love Actually, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Someone like You, Wedding Crashers and Old School.” STRIKE 1: He quickly informed me my movie choice sucks and it’s obvious I’ve never seen a quality film. OUCH. BURN. SLAM. SNAPS.

So on to the comedy club we go. We stood in line about 20 minutes before the show when STRIKE 2 occurred. He made a joke about us and our children in the future. I mean, are you serious? Wow. I was speechless. Praise the Lord the show was about to start. Side note: The show was awesome and I laughed my ass off.

Now on to STRIKE 3: After the show, we walked back to his place to have one more drink before I jetted. I told him ahead of time (because I’m GENIUS and clearly the smartest woman alive... for the sake of the story) I had to be home early to get up and train for my half marathon. It was my out in the event it was needed. In summary, it was much needed.

The second we walk in he asks if I was enjoying myself because it didn’t seem like I was, why I agreed to go out with him, why I look freaked out when he sat near me, why I wasn’t laughing at his jokes, why I wouldn't consider forming a Bookclub with just him and I, why Sex and the City is one of my favorite shows (he made sure to tell me how much he hates it), why I think my friends are going to always be around, why I won't try to eat the cracker with both hummus and the cheese on it, why I’m going to the Bahamas and not to a cooler place? Can I count those as STRIKES 4-infinity please? My first instinct was to yell “Say something funny and maybe I’ll laugh” but instead simply replied “I’m not really an emotionally expressive person but am having a great time.” WHITE LIE ALERT. Please note if I like an idea I'll proceed to do back handsprings with sparklers on all limbs.

Oh, on top of it all he didn’t know what a blog was, how to text message or use instant message. I know they say Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Maybe it’s just that his planet isn’t as technologically advanced as mine. At this point, it was like kicking a dead horse.

I was annoyed and mentally exhausted. I give up. Send in the troops! “Dear God, make me a bird…so I could fly far… far far away from here.”

“I’ll send an S.O.S. to the world. I hope that someone gets my…message in the bottle (yeah)”

Sorry, lost focus. So he walked me to my car and went on to his previously practiced in the mirror speech on how he thinks I’m beautiful, intellectual…had so much fun with me… blah blah blah… and wants me to know the ball is in my court with regard to us spending more time together. Umm, DUH! Thanks for the heads up. Like I wasn’t aware the ball was in my court. Ok, I’m clearly being a bitch. Anyhow, I drove home and swan dove into bed. He called my phone to make sure I got home ok, but I ignored it. I’ll later tell him I was passed out and didn’t see the missed call til the morning. Still trying to devise a plan to return his book (which of course, I read the whole thing instantly the next morning)… I might need to dial a friend on this one for advice. Moral of the story: He clearly wasn't Mr Right or Mr Right Now.p right into my nightmare, the water is warm. I made a couple promises to blog about Friday’s date. The girls preferred a camera crew follow me around but that might have made things weird…just speculating. Anyhow, I had a date with a guy I met the weekend before. Yes, me. A real live date… and not the kind where you meet up with him at a bar with your friends or after 2am. I was thinking about the last time I had a date with a guy I didn’t know and remembered back about 3 years ago. Did I mention I only guys I'm friends with? So much easier really with better results. Anyhow, on two other occasions I went out with a guy I had just met. One took me to a VT Football game... aka the fastest way to my heart. We dated about a year and still remain very close to this day. The other took me hiking in the Shenandoah Valley with bottles of wine and a picnic basket. I’m kind of a hopeless romantic and it was fabulous except I knew within 1 minute of meeting up with him I would forever cast him into my friend pile. I do that… I can tell within minutes whether or not the guy could be a potential suitor for me. Oh well. I’m sure he’s recovered by now.

Ok, back to this guy. So I met him the weekend before at a bar. He approached me and we started talking. I don’t know if it was the FIVE double vodka/club sodas on an empty stomach or our conversation that sparked my interest. He told me how he wanted to take me to Dubai this summer (I believe he said "I'm taking you to Dubai but first you have to tell me where I'm taking you on our first date") and how he’s inviting himself on my trips to the Bahamas and Italy. Whoah Nelly, ease the eff up. I should have known from the thin gold necklace hidden under the collar of his shirt that it would never work out. Major fashion faux paus in my book but I figured it was a new year and I should step out of my comfort zone and open up to new things. Oh yeah, did I mention he went to FSU? Two pre-STRIKES. Anyhow, we talked the next day and he came up with the idea to take me to have a couple drinks at his place then walk across the street to see a comedy show. Sounds simple enough.

I’ll admit I was kind of nervous at first. I mean, I really didn’t know this guy. I walked in and was pleasantly surprised. Two positive points: He was a little cuter than I remembered AND bought vodka/club soda ahead of time to serve me. We started talking about the most random things and after one drink, I felt a little more relaxed. He asked me my opinion on how to decorate his new place. If he knew anything about me, he would know I can’t match colors but whatever. It kind of bothered me he dumped ice on the floor of his freezer on purpose to store it. I mean, maybe it wouldn't have bothered me if I hadn't taken 2 semesters of Micro/ Food Microbiology with labs in college... that's some serious cross contamination in the making. I tried to block out the image of burger meat in his freezer dripping on my ice.... Ugh, no dice.

We did have the same interest in studying the universe, black holes and psychology. Apparently, he’s an ENTJ too but I didn’t have immediate access to the internet and wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Reminds me, I should look that up today. I told him the book I wanted to read, “A Brief History of Time” and he just happened to have it and let me borrow it. Too bad he followed that up with, "I think I deserve a kiss on the cheek for that one." Instead, I immediately shoved a cracker with hummus in my mouth.

This guy wasn’t so bad. That is until we started talking about movie and music interests. I didn’t want the conversation to die so I turned into the sorority girl in rush asking random conversation starters like “Top 5 favorite movies. No explanation. Go.” He told me his and they seemed legit although I’d never actually seen 4 outta the 5. He turned the question on me and of course without hesitation I responded, “Love Actually, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Someone like You, Wedding Crashers and Old School.” STRIKE 1: He quickly informed me my movie choice sucks and it’s obvious I’ve never seen a quality film. OUCH. BURN. SLAM. SNAPS.

So on to the comedy club we go. We stood in line about 20 minutes before the show when STRIKE 2 occurred. He made a joke about us and our children in the future. I mean, are you serious? Wow. I was speechless. Praise the Lord the show was about to start. Side note: The show was awesome and I laughed my ass off.

Now on to STRIKE 3: After the show, we walked back to his place to have one more drink before I jetted. I told him ahead of time (because I’m GENIUS and clearly the smartest woman alive... for the sake of the story) I had to be home early to get up and train for my half marathon. It was my out in the event it was needed. In summary, it was much needed.

The second we walk in he asks if I was enjoying myself because it didn’t seem like I was, why I agreed to go out with him, why I look freaked out when he sat near me, why I wasn’t laughing at his jokes, why I wouldn't consider forming a Bookclub with just him and I, why Sex and the City is one of my favorite shows (he made sure to tell me how much he hates it), why I think my friends are going to always be around, why I won't try to eat the cracker with both hummus and the cheese on it, why I’m going to the Bahamas and not to a cooler place? Can I count those as STRIKES 4-infinity please? My first instinct was to yell “Say something funny and maybe I’ll laugh” but instead simply replied “I’m not really an emotionally expressive person but am having a great time.” WHITE LIE ALERT. Please note if I like an idea I'll proceed to do back handsprings with sparklers on all limbs.

Oh, on top of it all he didn’t know what a blog was, how to text message or use instant message. I know they say Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Maybe it’s just that his planet isn’t as technologically advanced as mine. At this point, it was like kicking a dead horse.

I was annoyed and mentally exhausted. I give up. Send in the troops! “Dear God, make me a bird…so I could fly far… far far away from here.”

“I’ll send an S.O.S. to the world. I hope that someone gets my…message in the bottle (yeah)”

Sorry, lost focus. So he walked me to my car and went on to his previously practiced in the mirror speech on how he thinks I’m beautiful, intellectual…had so much fun with me… blah blah blah… and wants me to know the ball is in my court with regard to us spending more time together. Umm, DUH! Thanks for the heads up. Like I wasn’t aware the ball was in my court. Ok, I’m clearly being a bitch. Anyhow, I drove home and swan dove into bed. He called my phone to make sure I got home ok, but I ignored it. I’ll later tell him I was passed out and didn’t see the missed call til the morning. Still trying to devise a plan to return his book (which of course, I read the whole thing instantly the next morning)… I might need to dial a friend on this one for advice. Moral of the story: He clearly wasn't Mr Right or Mr Right Now.

Sing... Sing a Song...

The one thing my almost hour daily commute provides me with is the opportunity to think. I’m a thinker. We all know this. Over the past couple of months, I’ve been thinking about what top songs I’d put on a CD. Now…I’m talking about if I was forced to listen to no other music the rest of my life, what songs would I want on there?

It’s taken me a couple months because I’m also easily distracted/entertained. Music has always been very important to me. It evokes such strong emotion that I have no choice but to sing loud (and proud) with my clenched fist in the air. No doubt the other commuters think I’m crazy but hey, it’s better than being pissed off at the world. So here are my Top Songs in no particular order.

My CD
Radiohead- Creep
Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
Dave Matthews Band- #41
The Killers All These- Things That I Have Done
Toadies- Possum Kingdom
U2- Sunday Bloody Sunday
Coldplay- Yellow
Dave Matthews Band- Two Step
Starlight- Muse
My Chemical Romance- Welcome to the Black Parade
Talking Heads- This Must Be the Place
Guns N’ Roses- November Rain
Red Hot Chili Peppers- Otherside
The Verve- Bittersweet Symphony

Songs that Calm Me
Dido- Here with Me
Sade- I’ll Be There
Peter Gabriel- In Your Eyes
Dido- Hunter
Madonna- Take a Bow
Extreme- More Than Words
Frank Sinatra- The Way You Look Tonight
Frank Sinatra- Come Fly With Me
Frank Sinatra- Fly Me to the Moon

Disco
Thelma Houston- Don’t Leave Me This Way
Barry White- My First, My Last, My Everything
Donna Summer- Last Dance

80’s
Chicago- Glory of Love
The Police- Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Irene Cara- What a Feeling, Flashdance Soundtrack
Naked Eyes- Always Something There to Remind Me
A-Ha- Take on Me

Rap
Das EFX- They Want EFX
Wu Tang Clan- Gravel Pit
Notorious BIG- Juicy
TI- Bring 'em Out

Choreographed Video
Janet Jackson- If

Fiddler on the Roof

I recently made a list of all the things I would do in 2008. I swear I'm not manic but my parents looked at me a little funny when informed of my decision to play the violin again. I could sense my Dad having flashbacks... probably sparked some sort of post traumatic stress disorder caused by endless living room concerts. Little did they know I was only practicing 1/4 the amount of time required. Good thing I mastered the art of signature forging on those weekly time logs. They should really thank me for that.

I used to play for several years back in grade school until forced to pick between orchestra (which apparently I didn't get the memo it was no longer cool) and gym. I was kinda nerdy looking but had it in my head to beat the whole 6th grade girl population in the mile run... so... gym it was! Over the past 17 years, I haven't once thought about picking it up again. I'm pretty sure my moment of re-birth came this past Christmas season. Our office listened to 97.1 and every day my ears burned from Mommy kissing Santa Claus...etc. I found myself emotionally stirred by Canon in D. It was then I realized my calling. I'm starting to feel a little E True Hollywood Story.... "After taking a turn for the worst, things started to look up for the young & ambitious violin player..."

Anyhow, figured it shouldn't be that hard to learn to play again. I was in choir for 7 years and can still read music. Side note: I'm pretty sure everyone that ever sang in the choir, played in marching band or was in drama club said the same thing, "Our choir/band/club was actually cool at our school." Whatever. I still jazz hand it for entertainment purposes. This will be my attempt to achieve some sort of balance between my left and right brain hemispheres. Don't judge, just go with it.

2007 Recap

It has come to my attention that I've completely neglected my blog. In the spirit of the New Year, it seems appropriate to reflect upon my/my friend's experiences from 2007. There would been nothing more exciting than to include names but I'm too nice for that. Plus, it keeps you guessing.

-Dirty Dewey: daytime liquid diets, 4am trips to Grotto's pizza, 3 hrs of nightly sleep, 43 Motorboating incidents, cougars in training, getting tricked into “winning” 100 bucks to kiss a boy, marking boys red or green “not/are allowed in compound”, the famous streaking incident,getting caught skinny dipping by the old lady, hopping the fence naked

-Ibiza Opening Night: destroying shoes on the patio, DJ AM sighting, pimpin out the VIP section, talking our way into $3000 table section for free, stripper dancing, ordering a bottle of Bacardi 151 at our table and then Someone drinking 1/2 of it on their own.

-4^th of July weekend: hitchhiking from Georgetown to Midtown by 20 yr olds. Someone rationalizing with the boys why she needs a 20 yr old, shitty fireworks, Someone's drought resolved with lots of "fireworks", guess who’s Nat’s game

-Sunday Funday’s: keys being thrown over the rooftop pool and onto the patio of a random stranger, Water Olympics aka Synchronized swimming, Someone having water dumped on their head by a waitress in Adams Morgan, Please Don't Drink the Water warnings and notices about being potty trained, Mexicali blues: Why are there so many children here?

-The Infamous Boat night on the Waterfront: Guess who's Va-jay jay game? 30 poses in 10 seconds, foot and back massages, our version on the helicopter, never ever leaving shore

-NYE pajama party: video diary recap, anal sex question/answer forum, karaoke on camera, Someone getting tricked into naming names all on camera, Obe-wan-kenobi, almost missing the countdown, cucumber friends, interpretive dance, the $50 cheese platter mistake

-Walk of shame stories to include: Easter Sunday in Ballston, a Tuesday morning into DC via metro, Thanksgiving in Arlington, July 4th at Columbia pike. Do I sense a holiday trend?

-Skinning dipping in the Georgetown Mansion roof top hot tub 4am

-Kidnapping a boy from an alley in Adams Morgan and then forcing him to play in her attic

-Legwarmers concert with the ever so creepy Lionel Richie clay face video. "Hellooo, is it me you're looking for?"

-Dancing ON the VIP section and getting asked to step down

-Stealing cabs from girls in Adams Morgan

-Giving code names for every guy

-Tuesday morning drunk kickball stories and pictures

-Someone getting mushroom tattoo-ed

-Someone pee-ing in the front lawn at 3am without second guessing. Someone else joining them

-Someone hitchhiking back to Ballston in the back of a random truck

-Someone getting kicked out of Four Courts. Like we wouldn’t find out!

-Someone M.I.A. immediately following her birthday party. Uh huh.

-Someone jumping in the pool with her sundress on while sober

-Someone losing their Nuvaring mid-coitus, never to be found again

-Someone enduring 3 times for a cumulative time of less than 2 minutes

-Someone“accidentally” getting burned in the face with a cigarette by the guy she made fun of his penis size behind his back. Think: Karma

-Someone locking a stranger in the bathroom with the girls at Johnny Rockets to pee with us

-"Baby dogs, no baby dogs"

-Low key nights turning into 6 am bedtimes

-Hokie football Saturdays followed by Skin's on Sundays

-24 Birthday parties at Panache

-The formation of the Triple Threat

Dirty Dirty Dewey

Dewey Beach Weekend... a place to unwind with your friends, enjoy the cool ocean breeze and warm sand in your toes... NOT! More like debaucherous lifestyle with sleepless nights and mass quantities of alcohol seeping from your pores. My body and mind were clearly not prepared for what lay ahead of me.

Now, I never really had one of those crazy Spring Break trips in college. I think it's safe to say I was rather mild mannered and almost nauseatingly innocent in my ways. For some reason, now that I'm approaching 28, I feel the need to make up for it. Consider it "making up for lost time."

Back in VA, I consider myself a responsible person. I'm never the one too outta control and have fun but know my limits. Oddly enough, this standard doesn't apply to me in DE. Scissoring seems acceptable as well as engaging in the act of Motorboating. Maybe we're bonding... I'm not sure.

Here's a brief rundown:

Hours Slept Per Night: 3
Total Cigarette Burn Count: 3
Motorboating Incidents: 46
Tongues Out at Boys in Pics: 15
Personal Hook Up Stories: 0
Skinny Dipping Stories: 1
Pictures Taken: 350 +
Pictures Screened and Posted: ~300
Daily Non-Alcoholic Calories Consumed Before 2am: 500
Daily Non-Alcoholic Calories Consumed After 2am: 1500
Daily Beers Consumed: 15
Daily Soco/Limes Consumed: 3
Daily RBV's Consumed: 3
Daily Hours Spent Boozing: 12
Hours Slept Upon Return: 20

That's all for now... I'll feel the need to reflect more when my brain returns to normal.

Carbs Are The Enemy

So I'm Day 1 into my South Beach diet plan. I tried it the summer of 2005 and had perfect results, kept it off about a year until surgery and have been probably less cautious ever since. Ok, let me re-phrase... lazy, hungry and working in an environment where my boss provides his employees with a Snack Shack= The Devil.

I started out this morning ready to face what will be a difficult first three days. South Beach diet is the perfect concept. We actually discussed this in my undergrad studies and nursing school. Of course, a healthy lifestyle rather than any type of diet is the best choice of all but for some reason I can't bring myself to do that. You give up carbohydrates (CHO's) for 2 weeks, which means no juice, no fruits and certainly no alcohol.

Ok, so let's just say I am not following the alcohol thing on 3 designated occasions (Gold Cup, my best friends Grad school graduation party and some other unforseen day I'm certain to indulge.) After 2 weeks, you incorporate the good CHO's you're supposed to be eating in the first place. You never really re-introduce the crappy yet delicious simple CHO's you've learn to enjoy your whole life. Sad. I know it can be done because I've done it before and I need to look somewhat polished for Dewey Beach. I have no other options.

So, it's Monday morning and my mind is set, grocery list established and my support friend on the same page... she's just starting after Tuesday's bookclub meeting. I can't wait til then as I always find some damn excuse why I have to wait. I start with switching my regular coke (prob the WORST thing I put in my body on a daily basis) to coffee, powdered creamer and 3 Splenda. I don't know how this is zero calories but I'm happy it is. Yum! I'm busy this morning so that will only help me!

I think 5hrs into this and I might die. Hell, I've already checked my 401k online to be certain my sister is listed as my correct beneficiary. If I owned anything other than my car, I would construct a Will of some sort. My body is weak, my brain is cloudy and I can't form sentences. Did I mention I might die? Can't remember if I said that because I can't think about anything but CHO's and my profound admiration for the enemy.

Although my lunch was tasty, I'm consumed with the thought of how I'll feel in a couple hours. Like I said... just get past Wednesday and it gets easier! I have kickball tonight. What if I screw something up? I suppose I can't tell people why as I would be riduculed. This should be interesting... 24 days til Dewey!

Kickball

I decided a few months ago that I needed a change of pace, something that would allow me to meet more people, stay active and have fun. I found it... Kickball. One of my best guy friends told me about it when I first moved back to DC but I couldn't fully grasp the concept of adults engaging in a childhood activity. Of course now I'm convinced it's genius! You play on the lawn of the Mall surrounded by the nation's most historic landmarks, run around for an hour and then take it to the bar with the rest of the teams for flip cup, singing and dancing. I'm thoroughly convinced this will affect my well being each day after, but as always I'm willing to accept a challenge.

13.1

It had been awhile since I had run a long race. Let me be more specific... it had been 4 years, 3 moves, 4 months of Physical therapy on my knee, 3 different boyfriends, 1 area code change and 2 jobs since I've run anything longer than a 5k. I ran a marathon for charity years back and established that as the single most difficult endeavor in my life. I'm pretty sure I decided I was never going to run over a 5k again.

As the years passed, I suddenly find myself at the starting line gearing up for the DC National Marathon. It's still dark out and I find comfort in the Starbucks hut... where they provided me with a free slap shot of liquid crack. It was early, raining and certainly not a great way to start my weekend but I sucked it up and prepared my mind and mp3 for the long haul.

The gun went off and I felt fantastic. I mean, I was really doing this again and next thing I knew 4 miles has passed. Yeah, so about that. I spend the next 4 miles realizing this whole bronchitis ailment may actually affect my ability to BREATH. Imagine that! Just when I'm feeling like I might actually die right there in our fine nation's capitol, I see what appears to be a hill. I mean seriously... don't put that crap in my path. At that point, all I wanted to do is run in a dark alley in Southeast and hoped I'd get jumped.

It's amazing the ideas ... let me rephrase... crazy thoughts that consume your mind when running distances. It's a lot of time to spend by yourself. I'd like to give a special thanks to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, U2, DJ Tiesto, Madonna and Barry White. Without all of you, I would have never been able to pull my ass up that second hill these crazy ass officials decided to throw my way.

I saw a couple disturbing things on my brisk morning shimmy through the city. A guy running with no shoes, a man juggling the whole time while still managing to pass me... jerk... and of course my favorite: the guy with man boobs. I was determined if i were going to accomplish anything that Saturday morning, it would be to beat him. Those tight ass shorts, cottage cheese legs and man boobs. We could have not looked any more opposite in body frame, yet he managed to stay at my pace. Maybe it's that I just sucked that much that I managed to keep his pace. Hmm...

So, I wonder if the measurer people (or whatever they are officially titled) actually took the time to trot their course and see how it made them feel. Doubtful.

Besides the 2 hills, dead open gutted cat, fat asses in the their yards yelling at me to run faster (BASTARDS... karma is a bitch and maybe that was their cat), rain, battery in mp3 player dying with a mile to go and 25% lung capacity, I felt it was a success. I ran around 2:30 and wasn't exactly thriled. Oh, and I'm informed that the finish line was actually 1/4 mile longer... That was so not even funny. They adjusted our times but I still will never get that handful of minutes back in my life.

Finally, this is the part where I'd like to thank the Budlight truck for providing me with a large amber brew in that fancy plastic cup. You eased my pain even it were for only a few minutes. And a special no thanks to the hired photographer. My picture sucks and I'd appreciate it if you stop emailing it to me as a reminder. I don't want it. I have my medal and now everyone at Whitlows brunch that morning knew I ran. That's good enough for me!

You've Got to Live and Learn

So I've been thinking a lot lately. Don't question whether or not this is a new concept. I think my inquisitive nature rebloomed after I began reading my latest bookclub selection, High Fidelity. I'm not finished yet, but I am on page 20. A girl's gotta start somewhere.

People exit your life just as quick as they enter in. I was once told you are supposed to take something from every relationship you've ever been in and learn from it. What happens if I didn't? So, I decided to write it down... more like sum it up in a couple of sentences. It's helped me gain perspective. This is totally in chronological order too just to let you know. Hope none of them see this. If I had the balls, I would show them.

1. College is not the place to bring your old hs relationship into. The world is there for your taking and it's time to explore life and its endless possibilities.

2. Timing is everything. Sometimes even the guys that are the most perfect for you get screwed over in this. You're not sure if you regret it at the time, but it's usually too late in life when you do so you don't bother. A girl needs her freedom and time to grow.

3. Be weary of perfection. I thought I found the one person that knew me better than I knew myself. They were 100% compatible with me throughout my college career. You can be easily deceived. What a shame. It's important not to lose your identity. Do what's best for you and don't lose sight of those who were and always be with there for you.

4. Don't waste your time with people that live in their own bubble world. You can't change them. They have a distorted view of what they want and how the world around them works. They will say anything to get you back once you grow into the person you want to be. Don't buy into this BS. It's not worth the hassle but it sure is fun to laugh about now. They say opposites attract. Initially, they do because you convince yourself you want something completely different than you had before. What a mistake that was!

5. Don't date someone because it's convenient. Just because you have the same friends, hang out in the same places and even live near each other, it doesn't necessarily equate to longevity. It's more like coincidence.

6. Timing and proximity makes all the difference in the world. You finally find what you're looking for, something you've search long and hard for only to realize you live in DC and they live in NY.

7. There has to be more than compatibility to make a relationship work. You finally have that perfect balance in your life... a true sense and identity of who you are. Everything seems like it would be perfect, but you can't quite put your finger on what's missing. Then, you figure it out... the fire. That feeling you're supposed to get when you see them, that ache you have inside when they're gone. You can't force it and certainly can't fake it. It's either there or it's not.

You Have No New Messages!

There's been a fair amount of buzz lately between my girlfriends and I all revolving around the same topic. I'll ask bluntly...where the hell has the notion of 'courting' a woman disappeared to?It appears to me that men are taking the easy way out. For God's sake! Grow some balls and take a lady to dinner, have her over for a movie, coffee, pick up your dry cleaning or whatever! Wine, dine and maybe you'll actually get something meaningful in return. It's really not a tough concept.

I think some guys in my younger days had the right idea. I used to get school girl giddy when a gentleman caller would show up at my doorstep with flowers or leave little notes on my mirror for me to find when least expected. These young suitors got it right and somehow now that we are older, it's taboo. Evidently, it's acceptable for friends of mine to define dating as going out with their friends and then meeting up together after midnight. I was under the impression that was a booty call, but I'm no expert. What happened to the guys that would call to see how your day was and make plans for later? The call is now replaced by the text message and respectable, independant women everywhere get excited over this most simple form of communication. Somehow, "he called to ask me out" has been lost in translation and replaced by "text message received."

We've done it to ourselves. We've allowed it to get to this point. We've been conditioned to accept this as the way is going to be. How pitiful is that? This is only going to lead me to absolute confusion when the right man comes along and decides to 'court' me. I'm going to think he's a chump. A friend told me the other day that she "takes what she can get." This whole single independant gal dating in the big city concept has its place and time. The time's expired. Overrated. Next!

Balance Act

I tend to have five major categories of my life that I use while self reflecting. It doesn't necessarily determine my overall level of contentment, but I certainly take it into account. They include health, family, friends, work and relationships. It's seem to me that I have yet to achieve a sense of balance in each simultaneously. One seems to always be out of sync. It gets me thinking, though. Is it possible to have complete harmony in all aspects? Am I forcing myself to strive for something that is completely unattainable? The girl who asks too many questions needs an answer....

Bookclub

"A book club is a club where people usually meet to discuss a book that they have read and express their opinions, likes, dislikes, etc. They may also be known as book discussion clubs and meet in homes, libraries, bookstores, restaurants over meals, etc." -Wikipedia

Yeah, so ours is somewhat like that. We actually do read the book and engage in intellectual conversation. We hang out with each other probably more than is considered healthy.

The part Wikipedia forgot is the rules:

1. A new host must choose a book each month
2. A new venue is established by the host
3. Bookclub is always the first Tuesday of the month
4. One in, One out rule in effect
5. No Oprah books allowed for selection

My new bookclub is not quite like my old bookclub as my girls down South tended to keep it at the hosts home, supplied endless bottles of wine and typically turned it into mass debauchery by the end. I'm willing to give this a try, though and see how we can capitalize off the empire we're building. We already have executive officers, myspace site, photo page, Tshirts and social calendar. We're working on the real calendar... just wait.

Who's Space?

I'm beginning to think that the dating world has changed for the worse. Technology and the internet will be the death of building relationships as we know it. The mystery surrounding when a 'potential' calls is now replaced by email, text messaging and myspace, the devil. The idea is simple to have a way to communicate with friends and share a glimpse into your world with pictures, surveys and blogs. It's your opportunity to be creative, learn more about your friends than ever imagined and skip the small get-to-know-you talk. You can now spend five minutes and learn things about your friends it used to take months to discover.

The problem clearly lies within the 'comments' section. At any given time you can catch up with your friends without even contacting them. Brilliant. I call it Spying and we all admittingly do it. You can have the best of both worlds if you play it smart. The problem exists when you try to play the dating game the way you've always played it. What ever happened to the concept of the follow up call and sitting around guessing what the other person was doing or thinking? All you have to do is click and the answers are all spelled out for you. I personally enjoy the "status" game. It's when one party, typically the woman, thinks she is exclusively dating a guy and changes her status to "in a relationship" while the guy keeps his as single. Cracks me up everytime. I even see couples that have been dating for months and they both list themselves as single. It confuses everyone! There needs to be slight modifications to the game.

Attempts made to hang out with multiple people and not have them know about each other is now a foreign concept. Your business is spread out there to see and your 'game' is expired. It's also serves as a mini background check. You know where they're from, who they hang out with and their potential player status. It's almost a challenge and maybe that's the appeal. In my opinion, someone needs to write a book on this. I would certainly buy it. I think my 'potential' pre-screening interview questions will now incorporate sexual preference, maritial status, age, career and myspace status...in that particular order.

My Not So Secret Obsession

Anyone that really knows me understands that I have a profound interest in celebrity gossip. It certainly seems more exciting than anything my friends and I could possibly encounter. Yeah right! At least it seems more appropriate to discuss distant celebrity figures in public. Is it so tragic that my reading material consists either of medical journals about disease states and endless blogs (shout out to 'bricksandstones' and 'pinkisthe newblog') consisting of friendly celebrity banter?

I decided to make good use of my time and reflect on my own celebrity encounters. I mean, it's going to be my golden ticket in celebrity trash talk. I'm going to throw it out there that I did meet Muhammed Ali and his daughter when I was in the Denver airport about 15 years ago. I'm positive I had no idea who he was, but my father assured me he was 'kind of a big deal.' He shook my hand, autographed a pamphlet promoting his religous beliefs and we were on our way.

It must have been a good 6 years later when I had my next celebrity sighting. I went to see Smashing Pumpkins on the night the original band members played. I went with three guys and one other girl. We ended up getting taken backstage to meet the band and Billy Corgan referred to me as a "still flower." I am not sure exactly if that was the drugs talking or his creative impression of me. We had everything we had on us autographed and we were on our merry way!

So, 8 more years would go by and I wish I was more elated at the time when I saw the next two hunched on a bench in front of the Bellagio hotel in Vegas. To be honest with you, it took about 5 minutes for me to put it all together that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were also getting ready to walk straight to the front of the line (as we did) and into the back VIP area at Light. They sat at the table next to us dancing around, making a scene and successfully becoming the center of attention. This was evidently the same night that Nikki decided she wanted to get married at the Palms at 2am. I certainly didn't piece that together until I got home to Virginia. Would have been a cooler story if they didn't divorce after a month!

So anyway, I thought it was exciting enough that we showed up and were entertained on my first trip to Vegas with Tom Watson's son. Again, had no idea who the hell Tom Watson was until my boyfriend at the time had to explain it to me over the phone. Nice kid and I heard his dad wasn't too shabby in golf. His and his buddies were in town and they brought us up to the VIP room at Studio 54 to enjoy their bubbly. They were all forwarned that we were in stable relationships and they kept on their best behavior that night and the next night. They chauffered us around the Strip in limos and in return we provided them with platonic clubbing company. Good times! I actually have pictures to prove that!
My last encounter has been my favorite. It happened a month later in NYC. It was to be my first trip to the Big Apple for my boyfriend's sister's joint 30th Birthday bash with one of her 'Beauty Editor of a huge magazine' friends on the roof of the Meritime hotel. We had a lovely time there and I was convinced I wanted to move to NYC. On a side note, I'm going to throw out that Moby was there too but I didn't see him so that doesn't quite count for the story.

Anyhow, we headed over to club Marquee to set up camp in the VIP room. We bought a table with a few bottles of goose and danced around with our group of fabulous friends. I waited in the special VIP bathroom line for the girls room. I was next and turned around to see Diddy in his Sean Jean gear. My first thought was: "Diddy, Puffy, Sean Puffy Combs." My second thought was: "Damn, he's short." The guy next to me headed into his private stall and I looked at Diddy and let him cut in front of me in the girls line. Did I have a choice? Maybe I didn't. However, I said "go ahead" and he said "thanks."

Once he was out, I strutted in like I had no idea who this cat was and shut the door and called everyone I knew in VA to brag about what had just happened. Once I returned to our table, I noticed his entourage bought out our prime lcoation table and moved us one over. For the convenience factor, Diddy provided us with some Kristal, extra bottles of Goose and a thirty minute Diddy club mix. His girlfriend, Kim, provided my boyfriend with his sweater back from under the table. I was sold! That's all I've got. This now entitles me at least another year of celebrity bashing and morning gossip sessions. I mean, I've lived and breathed around these fools.

It's That Time

Fall is in the air, VT football has bestowed upon us and two of my top three shows are in full swing. If only I could find a way to get 24 included in my fall lineup, I wouldn't have a single reason to parade around town. Tragic, I know. At least my Hokies have prevailed against mediocre (at best) opposition. I'm not going to lie when I say I'm a little nervous about our end of the month Tupperware party with Georgia Tech. I could've benefited from more Beamer Ball Special Teams action this weekend to keep my confidence soaring until next weekend. That's another story and I'm scared.

More importantly, ANTM premiered Wednesday and Grey's Anatomy smacked me around Thursday. For all of you that didn't get the memo, America's Next Top Model promised todeliver an unforgettable season. So far, they're right on the money. Now, I'm not one to judge. Okay, well maybe I am but it would be for the better of mankind.

It can become pretty entertaining to watch the first episode. The three judge panel audition paralelled American Idol and included our Top Model judges Tyra, Jay Manuel and of course my darling favorite J. Alexander..aka... Ms. J. It's no secret I want to runway walk with Ms. J and hang for Happy Hour with the Swirl Twins. It instantly reminded me of when I was 4 and used to anxiously watch my mother as she runway strutted in the hottest 80's digs. Props to Mom for doing her model thing with her big hair, hoop earrings and shoulder pads. It's badass, just lacking the ANTM appeal.

I have to mention the quality of entertainment Top Model provided to me in two forms. I don't recall her name but the Stripper girl turned Model girl had no business in the Top 33. You're going to try to convince me that out of the thousands of girls that applied, she made the cut? Tyra's face was priceless when Stripper girl compared stripping to modeling. At least she was classy and head strong because "this ain't gonna bring me down. It just ain't." If she can be on Top Model, my 5'9" size 4-6 (depending on the day) Self can be there too.

As for Monique, I'm not a fan of her waving her toe up ghetto self around. Also, not a big fan of the twins. Their waif, Plain Jane look just doesn't impress me. I will give it to the Twin in her Bulimic Model shot. Somehow, she managed to capture emotion with her Vom look. Brilliant. I may change my mind about her afterall. At this point, I'm sticking with Melrose and Brooke. Brooke looks very commercial, so she's going to have to step up her game and impress me with some high fashion shots. Melrose seemed to rock the runway like no other but her attitude may hinder her advancement in the competition. Work it out.

If ANTM is my crack, then Grey's Anatomy is certainly my heroin. Let me mention that from the start that I haven't been affected in such a strong manner in quite some time from anything. This episode hit me full force and I thank the writers of the show for that. Very therapeutic.

I'm looking forward to seeing what path Meredith takes. On a side note, it was nice to see someone at ABC hired an image consultant to finally pull her wing-bangs back from her face. Last season, I couldn't decide if I was more bothered by that or her lack of desire for Finn. I understand for the shows sake that Finn will likely phase out but I enjoyed his valliant effort to keep in the game. Two men fighting for your affection can me more stressful than imagined. Who doesn't like Finn? He's Robin for godsake! Although Dr. McDreamy is precisely that, people keep forgetting the issue at hand...a small thing called marriage. Addison has grown on me and I empathize with her. She screwed up something she took for granted and now she'll never get that back. In the real world, I would take pleasure in stepping Meredith aside to shake her around a bit. She's the "other woman" and instead of using her brain, she followed her heart. Typical woman!

I'm waiting for George to get over Meredith already and embrace Callie. She loves him and there's no worse feeling than loving someone who's unsure about you. I can't believe I have to wait four more days for this. I could benefit emotionally from a less serious episode again. This last one hit too close to home and was all too familiar.

"...time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down, hovering, until it freezes leaving us stuck in a moment unable to move in one direction or the other. Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All anyone of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go...."

Adverse but Capable

I'm going to put it all out there and start off by saying the idea of me putting my personal thoughts into characters spelled out for anyone to read scares the shit out of me. My fledgling curiosity has led me here and I'm uncertain of what to expect. Like most things in my life, I'm going to have to ease my way in one inch at a time.It's not that I don't have enough to say because anyone who's been in my presence knows this is certainly not the case.

Generally, I prefer to keep things light. Often I've been criticized by family and close friends on my reluctance to divulge my thoughts, opinions and emotions. It's my understanding that it's a direct result of my life events and my coping mechanisms. So, there's a glimpse. That's me in a nutshell. I'm willing to take the risk in an appropriate form of expression. I'm not much of a creative writer, more of a scientific analytical thinker. I just hope my fingers can keep up with my thoughts.

Random Facts About Me You May Not Know

-I believe that while you can't control everything in your life, you choose how you play the cards you're dealt with

-I talk......a lot...about the most random things....all the time. Ok, I think everyone knows this about me!

-I dance my tail off in the shower so if you haven't heard from me in awhile I must have slipped....

-I sing in the car while driving unless someone is passing by in which case my mouth is open still but rest assured the words are still coming out

-If I'm only 5 minutes early then I'm running late..I know...weird but it works for me....although it prob annoys my friends..haha

-Yes, I am your stereotypical Leo

-I like to incorporate BIG words into my vocabulary to impress my friends...hasn't worked yet but I'll keep on trying

-The horoscope section in the newspaper is the first section I reach for

-I fall going up the stairs all the time...while sober

-I believe that carbs are not the enemy

-I'm guilty of 'occasional' drunk texts

-I'm big on etiquette...I was given my copy of "miss manners guide to excruiatingly correct behavior" by age 8

-I like to take people "under my wing" and look out for them

-I am an Air Force brat and have been to 27 states and 9 countries

-I was born in Germany and have lived in Boston, Albuquerque, Germany again, Woodbridge, Blacksburg, Roanoke and then back to the DC area

-My phone is permanently attached to me so I'm the easiest person to get a hold of

-I'm the friend that likes to set everyone up...if you need help, let me know

-I google everything when I don't know the answer and if I don't know the answer right away, I won't give up til I find out

-When I was a little kid my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said an anesthesiologist. When asked why...I said, "it's sounds important."

-I love celebrity gossip magazines

-I'm 1/2 german 1/2 puerto rican...but speak only english and deutsch

-Clowns, midgets and that baby on the quiznos commercial scare the bejesus outta me

-I'm such a morning person.....my best friend Lauren has finally accepted this and loves me anyway

-I've mastered the art of multitasking....you should see me in action

-I'm the foosball champion in my family...we have tourney's during holidays

-I was taught to play chess and scrabble at an early age and can play a mean game of both

-If you were on "who wants to be a millionaire," I should be your phone a friend b/c of my vast knowledge of random useless info

-I will laugh about any of the following: guys with jean shorts, men wearing gold chains/ man jewelry, pleated pants on young people NOT at work, guys sporting black pants with white tennis shoes and mullets...especially the femme-mullet..rock it, girl!

-I once had permed bangs with the rest of my hair straight (who does that...total "Glamour Don't")...I have pictures to prove it

-I once had a femme-mullet....in fourth grade...and yes, I have pictures to prove it and laugh at...you can't miss the pics since mom and dad refuse to take them off the wall

-Because of the two comments above I have now sported the SAME haircut every year since I was 16

-I have always "hurdled over"...yes..track style... park benches and trash cans if I'm out running and no ones around

-I'm a hopeless romantic

-If there's an opportunity to order it with "extra cheese" I'm all over it

-I am obsessed with Jeopardy

-Lastly, it's the little things that matter more to me in life. The big stuff is just filler