The "Perfect" Man

Recently, I had dinner with one of my guy friends and to my surprise he wrongfully accused me of being "complicated" when it comes to men. Disturbed and appalled, I became briefly defensive... 'possibly' blurting out in a Tourette's like manner then laughing it off while reaching for the bottle of wine. As if! I thought he was crazy! I'm a lovable person! Anyhow, I decided to store that critical piece of information for further research and examination...

Jump two months later (what... I've been busy) So, he may have a point. He reads my blog too but I probably won't send him a note to inform him of this update. While there fails to remain a perfect man, there is what I consider the "perfect" man for me.

The "perfect" man for me...

Allows me to think I'm the star even if he's really the one running the show. It's the Leo in me. I can't change that so just go with it.

Should call me everyday and additionally shoot a text to say "Whassssup, sucka?" or "You are the wind beneath my wings." Either will do.

Calls me out when I'm acting ridiculous (very rare) or does something stupid (fairfly common). I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. Just shake your head and kiss me on the forehand and I won't do it again.

Will read through my Google calendar (every friend of mine is fully equipped with this vital information) and suggest plans when I'm not busy... oh, and preferably not the day of. While I'll have brief moments of spontaneity, I do like plans.

Should pay on the first date. This is a deal breaker.

Is a hint of nerdy. I'm an "undercover" geek so it's just a better fit.

Will text me back immediately and not 8 hours or the next day later. By then I've deleted his phone number. Trust me, I do that. Ask my friends.

Is super competitive with me. PS: I will win. If I don't the first time, I won't stop til I do. It will be my new life mission.

Will do the majority of the driving. I drive slow. Enough said.

Isn't "prettier" or high maintenance. I'm extremely low maintenance and if I'm ready before he is, then... "Houston, we have a problem."

Is socially independent. I bounce around with my friends and it makes it tough if he can't keep up. Ok, if he's super introverted then maybe I'll tote him around and hold his hand... only if he's cute. Kidding.

Is not afraid to occasionally hold my hand or hug me in public. I can be eye candy, damnit! Be proud to have me around.

Doesn't spend more time in the gym that he does at work. In fact, he should play on an organized sports team (or 2 or 5). We can't talk about who won the game when all he did was make his neck muscles bigger at Gold's Gym. Plus, it'll scare me.

Understands I'm a hopeless romantic and corny at times.

Doesn't dress better than me. Preferably, he can be slightly preptastic with a splash of metrosexual. No overdoing of the hair product, please.

Doesn't smoke.

Understands I have an affinity for drunk texts and sometimes a lot of them... not just to him. I drunk text everyone.

Doesn't spend all day playing video games. The occasional Wii is acceptable but be sure to know I search and destroy when it comes to Wii bowling, tennis or shuffleboard.

Likes a healthy balance of bar hopping and laying in bed all day together watching football or movies.

Never tells me what I can't wear. I'm one classy B and parents love me! I'll shrut in argyle, pearls and cardigans all day but at night with my girls, you better believe we'll push the envelope.

Doesn't have OCD. Sometimes I make messes or spill. If he does suffer from this clinically disabiling psychiatric disorder, I'll purposely screw with his psyche for entertainment purposes then act like I didn't know.

Will watch VT Football with me even if he didn't go to school there. Heck, he'll probably want to carve out time from his precious schedule and make an appearance at Lane Stadium.


Yep, I guess that's it. Hmmm, so moral of the story... I suppose I AM complicated and picky. Now leave me alone... or Call Me! (wink wink)