The Brazen and the Beautiful

I felt like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders last week. You know, when you feel like everything in your life is falling spectacularly into pieces and you have no idea why? Well, the good thing was I wasn’t alone. You never are. I had three of my close girlfriends beside me who agreed the four of us would remove the past 7 days from our memory banks. Call it a defense mechanism, whatever you like. Either way, we’d just celebrate 51 weeks in 2008. When the going gets tough, the tough goes on an adventure.

Our adventure was “How to be a Brazen Burlesque Dancer” and offered as a free workshop at Artomatic in DC. On that rainy morning, we grabbed our yoga pants, heels, last ounce of dignity and ventured into Northeast. Our class was taught by no other than Bambi G and Coco, two of DC’s “It Girls” in the world of burlesque. I’m now a firm believer Burlesque is the best medicine. I mean, the words of these two strangers were so empowering. They were 100% comfortable with themselves and advised us no matter what we do, just own it. Brilliant. Of course we volunteered to step up to the challenge. Once the music (FEVER) started playing, we were locked in the zone. (Not now Chief, I'm in the zone!)

I made a successful attempt at boa seduction, even though Jenna said I poked a feather in her contact. I’m going to put it all out there and say my forte was the shimmy. I owned it! Anyhow, we dabbled in to the history and then instructed how to work a chair, make/use pasties and tassels. Can you sense an Arts and Crafts Night in the making? I think so! We learned how to position our arms to make the tassels move in every direction possible. So awesome! We vowed this would be the season of Brazen! Hold nothing back… be the Brazen and the Beautiful. We strutted out of the class and moments later the sun peered through the clouds. I couldn’t help but notice how bizarre it was the weather paralleled our moods but I won’t read too much into it and tack it up to coincidence.

We decided to take our newly discovered brazen attitudes and introduce them to the world. Here we come! We would start with the bar and make our way from there. For the first time that week, we embraced the mutual feeling of being absolutely content. First topic of discussion: Our stage names, songs and props. The list included Kiki, Cami, Desiree and Star (that’s me. holla). Let it be know the M in S&M does not stand for Machoism. We would continue with our Educal Word of the Day: Brazen. Yes Jenna, go call your Mom and learn your words! Future phrases of Hide & Seek, Lost & Found, Sensomatic, Sour Patch (Bipolar) and would forever be cast into our vocab list.

When things couldn’t get any more amusing, enter the bartender. Funny story really. He approached our table and instantly recognized Kim from last summer. He brought us our drinks and immediately informed us he deleted her number and would like to have it back. We suggested we come up with three things he needed to do to deserve the digits back. Now, with the four of us at the table as the think tank, this could have gotten really out of hand. We decided to play it safe and set the parameters. 1) He demonstrates a Shimmy for us 2) He draws a tattoo incorporating Kim’s name on his hand and sport it the remainder of the day 3) He sings her happy birthday and brings us shots. Well, as it turned out he opted for the tattoo instantly and minutes later brings all the guests from inside of the bar to the outside to sing, with a shimmy to end. Please note: It was police week and the old school cops on Harley bikes joined in on the rendition. Like a knight post jousting victory, he approached to claim his title prize… Kim’s digits. We often note the fact someone should send a camera crew and follow us around. Seriously, we can’t make this shit up. We would follow that up with a schizophrenic man in a leisure suit going all Tourette's to nearby children… Case in point.

Our part 1 of the day was perfect. It didn’t matter what lay ahead in Part 2. You know how they say you should be grateful to have just one girlfriend in your life who you share your raw thoughts, feelings, hope and dreams with… the person who would drop everything they’re doing to be by your side in both the good times and bad? Well, I am fortunate enough to have twelve and my life is more fulfilled because of it.

*UPDATE* Turns out the guy was a dud. It appears her SUV Soccer Mom hopes and dreams of 2.2 children and a Labradoodle will just have to wait for the time being.