-When you're standing at an elevator clearly waiting for it to reach your floor and someone steps up and hits the button AGAIN like you never did in the first place and standing there for shits and giggles. Okay, totally long winded run-on sentence but it's irks me to no end.
-Dog owners that force you to pet their dog or let it jump up on you. I love my dog but don't necessarily want yours jumping, drooling or scratching on me.
-Friends who think it's polite to ask you, the nonsmoker, to allow them to smoke in their car or at the table while you're eating. When I need someone to donate an organ for me in the future, I'm calling you (except you can keep the black lung).
-Parents who allow their children to: Scream uncontrollably, eat fast food/candy all the time wondering why their kids are overweight and full of cavities, run around with no supervision and have snotty crusty faces. May the children I don't want for at least another 5 years be perfect.
-When I wear a skirt to work and drive on the beltway. It never fails that some creepy guy will have his body out the window trying to get a glimpse of leg. It's so foul and often I grab the passenger visor and face it towards that window.
-Tardiness, unless I'm drunk and the one who's late. Then, I could care less and you should be happy with me for that.
-When someone uses 10 words to explain when 1 or 2 will work just fine.
-People who rubberneck in traffic. I swear I can write a blog on the psychology behind traffic patterns.
-Those ladies at the make up counter. You look like clowns and I'm already suffering from PTSD after watching Stephen Kings 'IT' as a young child.
-Those people at the aromatherapy and funny spray/lotion stands. My skin is sensitive and last thing I need is for it to look like a oompa loompa after you drown me in some overpowering cream or spray.
-That crazy lady outside Nordstrom at Pentagon City Mall who chases me down with a $200 hair straightener even though I repeatedly tell her I have one that was $30.
-The people who came up with a non logical system for clothing sizes. Explain to me how am I an XS/2 at one store and XL/8 at another. It's not good for my psyche!
-The scale at my Dr's office. Who cares if it's more accurate than my $5 Target scale. The Target one lies to me and I'm fine with that.
-People who are judgemental about cars. Who cares what car so and so drives?! My answer is usually related to the color of the auto in question. I know colors. Don't know cars.
-Guys that are super metrosexual. I used to like you guys but over it for a couple years now. You're a man... so act like it and stop trying to be prettier than me.
-When people you're hanging out with spend more time texting in front of you rather than talking to you. Go hang out with them if they are more important.
-High maintenance girls or girls that ask you 100 times if they look okay. I mean, seriously.
-Cat hair or excessive dog hair.
-Expired coupons.
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